![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Merlin fic: Nothing Has Changed (1/?)
Title: Nothing Has Changed (1/?)
Author: dk323
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Merlin/Arthur
Spoilers:
Merlin ~ tag to season 1 finale, “Le Morte D'Arthur”
Disclaimer: The show Merlin is property of the BBC. No money being made.
Summary: "I'm no good to Arthur dead."
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7a | Part 7b | Part 8a
Arthur was used to Merlin’s incompetence at his job, but when he didn’t show up the next morning in Arthur’s chambers, the prince took it upon himself to find out what was going on.
He headed to Gaius’, ready to give his manservant a good talking to. That is, after he was certain that Merlin was all right. He tried not to dwell on the words they had exchanged the previous day when Merlin was being stranger than usual with him.
Contemplating his words after he left, Arthur felt, without a doubt, that Merlin, in his own infuriating way, was saying goodbye to him -- giving him advice, telling him not to be a prat. And then there was that look in Merlin’s eyes – he had looked stricken, like this was difficult for him, like he was about to cry.
Arthur would have appreciated knowing when someone was saying goodbye to him. All that Merlin left him with was questions and a deep-seated worry as to what trouble his manservant had gotten himself into.
“Where is he? Where’s Merlin?” Arthur demanded as he came in, unannounced, into Gaius’ workroom.
The court physician looked up from his work, a sigh escaping him. He looked like he had expected Arthur to come by, to seek his errant manservant out.
“Merlin isn’t here, sire. He informed me that he had to go somewhere.”
“And that’s it? You just let him go? Alone? Do you know where he went?”
Gaius resumed his work, directing his attention away from Arthur. He shook his head. “I tried to make him see reason, but he was stubborn about leaving. There was little I could do. He said it was for his own safety.”
“What is that supposed to mean – “his own safety”?”
“I don’t know. I think he planned to go into the forest. That is my guess, but that would be the best place to find him, sire.”
“And why do you think he would be in the forest?” Arthur asked, narrowing his eyes. Gaius was clearly not telling him the whole story.
“That is where I saw him headed, sire. I can’t tell you anymore than that.”
“You can’t or you won’t?”
Gaius gave Arthur a meaningful look. “Merlin may be in danger. I don’t know from what, but if it wouldn’t be too much trouble --”
“It won’t. I’ll go look for him,” Arthur said resolutely.
Suddenly, a noise from the direction of Merlin’s room was heard.
“What’s that noise? Is there someone --?”
Gaius appeared nervous all of a sudden. “It is just a sound. Nothing to concern yourself with, sire. Now, if you will, I have work to attend to.”
Arthur nodded and left without another word.
~ * ~
“No, I can’t. I can’t,” Merlin said, sounding weary, tired.
“You would sacrifice so much when it could be dealt with so simply? You just need to tell him, Emrys.”
“No, I have to do this. Even – even if I tell him, I can’t control my magic. I can feel it. In the end, it wouldn’t matter when I expose myself without meaning to in front of everyone. I can’t take that risk.”
The blonde woman in a flowing blue dress observed him thoughtfully. “I may know of a way to help you. There is a chance that the Pendragon--”
Merlin shook his head vehemently. “No, leave Arthur out of it. I don’t want him to have any part in this.”
“Very well. I can bind your magic, so you’ll be unable to use it, but it’ll still be inside of you. All of your magic will be compressed into a tiny locked box. Only I have the key,” the sorceress explained.
She neared him and placed her hand gently on his cheek. Merlin involuntarily shivered from the contact. His eyes turned gold at her touch.
She broke contact with him. “This will be painful for you, you understand,” she said, trying to impress upon him the seriousness of what she was about to do. “You’re very powerful. You don’t just have magic. You are magic.”
“Just get on with it. I’m no good to Arthur dead. I can’t risk being found out,” Merlin said with determination.
“All right, as you wish. Remember to come back in a week – hopefully, you will have come to your senses.”
“Why a week?”
“Because, Emrys, that is how long I expect you to last under the binding. If you could bring the prince with you the next time, I may be able to better assist you.”
Merlin started to feel the beginnings of doubt and fear at her words. Maybe this was a bad idea. He dreaded to think how he’d feel without the ability to use his magic, to not feel it rippling, swirling just underneath his skin – ready to be used at a word or a thought.
“I’ll consider bringing him. But I have to do this. Please,” he pleaded with her. He wanted to get this over with before his anxiety got the best of him.
The sorceress nodded and conjured a small blue and silver box, a lock at the front, into her hand.
She waved her hand over the box and it opened. She said a few words and Merlin felt himself weakening.
He saw a great swirl of many colors, shades of brilliance, flowing out of him and into the small ornate box. The spectacle left him in awe for a moment – he had never seen all of his magic before him like this -- before the pain hit.
Merlin could feel himself going down to his knees. He felt like he was near death. He couldn’t breathe. Everything was swirling around him, moving all together too fast while he was crawling at a snail’s pace.
“One week, remember. I am sorry,” she said quietly.
Merlin could hear her words as a distant echo inside his head. He looked up to see her looking down on him, a sad, apologetic expression gracing her face.
“Merlin!”
Some things never changed. Arthur had gone looking for him.
But all Merlin could see was black as the darkness fell over him like a thick blanket.
He succumbed to the darkness as the pain ebbed away from him. It was a release.
It was bliss.
~ * ~
Part 2
no subject