Merlin fic: Nothing Has Changed (6/8)

[dk323]

Title: Nothing Has Changed (6/8)
Author: dk323
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Merlin/Arthur, Morgana, Gwen
Spoilers: Merlin ~ Tag to season 1 finale, “Le Morte D'Arthur”
Disclaimer: The show Merlin is property of the BBC. No money being made.
Summary: Fearing losing control of his magic, Merlin gives his magic up. But then Arthur gets involved…
Author's Notes: So sorry for taking a while to update this. The next chapter should be shorter and Chapter 8 will be the final chapter. Hope you enjoy this. :)

Part 6: Merlin gets his magic back, but when his vision begins to come true - he has no choice but to see it through.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7a | Part 7b | Part 8a

~ * ~

“Morgana’s like you, isn’t she?” Arthur asked him the next day in his chambers.

He was tapping his fingers rhythmically on the table. Though his inquiry appeared casual, nonchalant, Merlin knew better.

Merlin wasn’t sure what to say, so he decided it would be best to keep quiet.

“Honestly, Merlin,” Arthur said impatiently. “I already figured out that she did do something to you, enchantment or otherwise. I don’t know why you’re still adamant about not placing the blame on her.”

“I told you, Arthur, that I’m fine. Perfect, in fact. There’s nothing to question.”

Arthur wiped his brow in a tired gesture. He watched for a good moment as Merlin polished his sword with a piece of cloth.

“Morgana has been like a sister to me all these years. But she has ensorcelled you, bewitched you somehow. And I won’t stand for it.”

“Will you let it go, Arthur? Please, just leave it alone. Would you rather that I stay away from you while you still have my magic?”

Arthur gave him a hard look. “You will not see her anymore. Do you understand me, Merlin? Whatever influence Morgana has on you, I will not allow it to continue.”

“But Arthur, you know what will happen,” Merlin reminded him.

Arthur sighed. “All right. If you’re so worried that you can’t survive until the seventh day, then we will seek the sorceress. Surely Luna could be persuaded to return your magic to you a few days early.”

Merlin nodded, though Arthur could see that he still appeared hesitant.

“Do I have your word, Merlin?”

“Yes, you do,” Merlin said quickly.

“I wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t think it was in your best interest.”

“It might not make much of a difference in the end,” Merlin muttered under his breath.

Morgana’s words echoed in his mind: You don’t even know if he’ll change his tune once your magic leaves him.

--- causing the worry to worm its way into Merlin’s mind. He had hoped that he had rid himself of this doubt, but no, it was there still – leaving Merlin uncertain of Arthur’s friendship, his loyalty…

Arthur couldn’t quite catch what his manservant had said. But even after repeated prodding to get Merlin to explain himself, Arthur found his efforts fruitless.

~ * ~

Merlin stood outside of Morgana’s chambers. Even after Arthur had told him to stay away from her, he simply had to see her one last time. Merlin hoped that there was a way to break the enchantment, the unbreakable promise that Morgana had placed on his person. He had to end it because he couldn’t fathom the possibility of being forced out of Camelot, away from Arthur.

And he really could not bear to tell this to Arthur. Merlin feared what Arthur would do to Morgana if he found out that she was the reason that Merlin had left Camelot.

He took a deep breath and then he let it out. He knocked on the door.

Gwen answered the door, a soft though uncertain smile on her face as she said, “Hello, Merlin. What can I do for you?”

“I need to speak to Morgana, Gwen.”

She frowned slightly at that, which confused Merlin just a bit. Gwen soon answered his questioning look.

“She told me that she does not wish to see you. That it’s best--” She stopped, biting her lip in an obvious show of nervousness.

“What is it?” Merlin asked her urgently. “What did she say?”

“Lady Morgana said it was best you stay away from her. That it’s nothing to do with you, but everything to do with her. And she also said she was sorry.”

He had a distinct feeling that Arthur may have exchanged some words with Morgana, but Merlin didn’t see her as the type to back down easily and give in.

Merlin decided to let it go for now and after saying goodbye to Gwen, he walked away.

He would have to find out what was truly going on from Morgana later. Surely she would want to tell him? Not leave him in the dark like this?

Merlin nodded to himself as he walked down the corridor. Arthur accosted him at the end of the hallway and he pulled him along, citing he had a job for Merlin to do. In Arthur’s chambers.

Merlin could feel his mind screaming at him, giving him warning that he needed his magic back.

And he needed it back now.

“Arthur, Arthur – please. I feel it inside me. I need to be away from you.”

Arthur turned back to look at him. “We’re going to see the sorceress before the day is out. Just – meditate or whatever you said worked until that time.”

“Just not Morgana, right?”

Arthur gave a curt nod. “Yes, you gave me your word.”

Merlin sighed, but he didn’t say a word in response. He looked down to Arthur’s hand still grasping his upper arm.

He let out a small whimper. This was pathetic, he thought. That he was so dependent on his magic that he couldn’t possibly bear to be without it. That it would hurt so much…

And yet, Merlin felt a great sense of relief when, once in the prince’s rooms, Arthur had – after an efficient, clean cut to his forearm; the blood magic activating when he swallowed the crimson blood – conjured a magic shield around himself to keep Merlin at bay.

“There. Is that better?” Arthur said, smirking noticeably.

“I am glad to see you’re enjoying this, sire,” Merlin muttered in frustration.

The prince raised his hands to show his apology. “All right. All right. I know you’re not happy with this situation, but really, it is a bit ridiculous – trying to keep you away as if you’re some bloodthirsty creature ready to pounce.”

“Well, that’s what it feels like. I’m sorry that it’s such an inconvenience to you, Arthur,” Merlin retorted, gritting it out. The sarcasm in his words was easily heard.

Arthur shook his head, relenting. “I know it’s hard for you. But as I said, we’ll seek the sorceress Luna today. I’ll just tell my father that I’m going on a hunting trip and then we will be free to go.”

“Good. That would be best,” Merlin agreed.

He pounded one of Arthur’s pillows a little too hard, but he found he didn’t much care. He debated punching the hard wall with his fist – the pain of the collision would be welcome to block out the constant, ringing pain of his body screaming for the magic it sorely missed. But Merlin was sure Arthur wouldn’t allow him to do that, wouldn’t allow him to inflict pain on himself under his watch.

“Hmmm…I wonder though,” Arthur mused. “If you were a bloodthirsty creature, what sort of creature would you be, Merlin?”

Merlin looked at him incredulously. What kind of question was that? But he answered it nevertheless – even pondering over his answer before speaking. “I’m not sure. I would think it would be a winged creature. Most certainly it won’t be bloodthirsty.”

Merlin glared at him.

Arthur rolled his eyes, but then he asked, “Why a winged creature? Do you have a reason for it?”

Merlin shrugged. “Not really. I don’t know. I just think that it’s freeing to be in the skies, free from the constraints of the ground… to glide on the wind currents and feel the light breeze as I fly.”

“That sounds… nice,” Arthur said softly.

“I’m certain you’ll be a little golden puppy. I’m willing to bet on it,” Merlin said then, grinning at him.

Arthur scoffed at him, looking offended.

Merlin only laughed. And not long after, he saw the prince not being able to resist to joining in – his deep, genuine laugh ringing pleasantly in Merlin’s ears.

~ * ~

Merlin was not too surprised to find Luna already present when he and Arthur came to meet her in the forest – in the same place that he had given up his magic. She surely had sensed their approach – probably finding a justified amusement in seeing Merlin before the seven days were up. The sorceress had been right, oh so right – Merlin should have never agreed to bind his magic. He should have never accepted letting go of his magic. It had been a stupid thing to do.

He looked worriedly to Arthur, feeling uncertain about what would happen when Merlin would be himself again.

Because he couldn’t deny it now, Merlin knew without a doubt that magic defined him. It was what made him who he was. Even the fear he held about his inability of controlling his magic did not matter now.

He would deal with it because all that mattered was that he had his magic back. That he would feel whole again.

“Emrys. Pendragon. It is good to see you again,” Luna greeted them.

This time, she was donned in a silvery gown with deep blue trim at the bottom of her silk dress.

Merlin stepped forward. “I was meaning to ask – is there any way to control my magic? If I’ll be back to the same situation that I was in, I need to know that there’s a way to resolve it.”

Luna nodded. She beckoned the two of them to come closer to her. “Of course, Emrys, I understand your fear. I am quite surprised that you came so soon, but I would not deny you your birthright. Once your magic returns to you, then a simple expulsion will calm your magic. And you will resume control over your magic once again.”

Arthur went over her words in his head. He questioned her before Merlin could speak. “Expulsion? You mean for Merlin to force his magic out?” He didn’t like the sound of that.

Luna shook her head. She smiled politely at them. “Oh no. Emrys needs to conjure something big to cleanse his magic. And then all will be set to rights after that.”

Merlin looked up to the sky then.

The rain is coming down…

Despite the sorceress’ reassuring explanation, Arthur still felt ill at ease at what would happen.

“Emrys, I need to speak to you in private. If you would excuse us,” She nodded at Arthur.

He sighed and acknowledged her words. Merlin and the sorceress left him – they headed into the thick of the forest, which effectively obscured their location.

He sat down before a tree, leaning back against it.

The prince waited.

~ * ~

“I am sorry for assisting the Lady Morgana in placing the unbreakable vow upon you. You must understand, Emrys, that it had to be done.”

Merlin stared, aghast, at Luna. He couldn’t dare to believe it. How could she have helped with that? He thought she could be trusted!

“But why? What was the reason for it? I thought you were meant to be good. And yet, you plotted against me!”

The sorceress had sad look on her face. “Dear child, you must realize that you have to learn from the future as well as the lessons of the past. My only wish was to help you. My kin is well-versed in navigating the portals of time travel. I seek to provide you safe passage, Emrys, to a future time where you’ll gain the wisdom you need to better assist the Once and Future King.”

Merlin shook his head fervently. He couldn’t believe this was happening. This was the real reason why Morgana had told him to leave Camelot.

And now, he recalled the text he had read the other day, Morgana by his side. The pages had turned of their own accord – stopping at the section detailing the prospects of time travel…

It had been an omen of the future after all.

Merlin looked carefully at her and he asked, desperately wanting this assurance. “I’ll be able to come back? To Camelot? This unbreakable vow does not mean I must leave Camelot for good?”

Luna gave him a light smile. She reached out her hand to softly touch his cheek. The gesture of comfort did not soothe away Merlin’s frustrations.

She dropped her hand then. “Yes, you will only need to leave Camelot for a time. You may return when you have received the knowledge you need. No one can get in the way of your true destiny. You are to be by Arthur’s side. Do not doubt that, Emrys.”

“Morgana made me doubt Arthur. She tried to make me believe that he would turn his back on me, on our friendship. Granted, Arthur didn’t have much time to fully accept my magic before you gave my magic to him.”

“Do not doubt him. Those were her words. They are not true.”

“But I don’t understand. Why would Morgana do such a thing?”

Luna shook her head. “I do not know, Emrys. Her reasons are her own. There is a chance that her path does not lie in the same direction as yours. I only sought to assist her with the spell, without her knowledge, to incite you to leave Camelot. I knew you would resist from willingly leaving due to the love for your prince that you clearly hold in your heart,” She said quietly, letting the last words sink in. Merlin looked at her, not just a bit startled. But then he sighed – he was too obvious sometimes and a sorceress like Luna could see it all too well. “I did not hold any foreknowledge of how the Lady Morgana would twist the enchantment,” Luna told him resolutely.

He looked up to her. He nodded. “All right. I believe you.”

Luna smiled at him. She spoke earnestly, firm in her words of reassurance. “I am glad of that, Emrys. I promise you – you will not be without friends when you travel to the future. You will be protected. You do not yet know how important you are, but you will surely understand by the end of your time in the future.”

“I hope so,” Merlin replied quietly, more to himself than to her.

“We must get back to the Pendragon,” Luna told him.

He nodded and he despondently followed her back to where they had left Arthur.

~ * ~

The decorative blue and silver box was floating in midair before Arthur and Merlin. After a few words from Luna, she had extracted the box from Arthur. It was more like Arthur coughing it up – the box the size of a pebble, though once it was out of his mouth, the box returned to its original size.

Merlin turned to Arthur. He thought it felt nice not to have the urge to attack the prince with his magic now out of Arthur’s body. It was a great relief to Merlin. That could not be denied.

He asked Arthur, uncertainty underlying his words. “You won’t think differently of me, Arthur?”

Arthur looked at him oddly. “What is this about, Merlin?”

“Just – I want to know where we stand. You never had the proper chance to come to terms with who I am – that I have magic. It wasn’t fair to you,” Merlin finished quietly, looking down.

The prince just stared at him in disbelief. “Really, Merlin. Do you think I’d have you be executed after these last few days? After what we’ve been through? True, I did find out about your secret rather suddenly before I was given the task of keeping your magic; but – understand,” And then Arthur moved to raise Merlin’s chin so his blue eyes were directed firmly on Arthur’s face, his steadfast gaze. “—understand, Merlin, that this does not change how important you are to me. Do you even see how much --?” Arthur cut himself off, the flood of emotion inherent in his last words telling Merlin more than enough.

Merlin gave him a grateful smile. He understood.

Luna spoke then, lightly interjecting into the rather personal moment between the prince and his warlock.

Merlin could see the pleased smile gracing her face though.

“It is time. Stand before me, Emrys. It will not take long to complete the return.”

Merlin did as she directed and then she waved her hand over the box. Merlin’s magic rushed out of its enclosure and immediately went toward Merlin – without any urging from him. The magic flooded his body. It entered his mouth as well as absorbed itself through his skin – seeking entrance back inside his body that way as well.

Arthur stared in amazement as Merlin literally glowed a very bright, almost blinding golden light as his magic urgently rushed back to its rightful place inside him.

Merlin grinned widely, feeling absolutely giddy at the wonderful sensation of being able to touch his magic again – to whisper a word and feel his magic ready to do as he asked.

“You must do the expulsion if you wish to gain a firmer hold over your magic, remember,” Luna reminded him.

Merlin nodded. He looked up at the sky. He knew what he had to do.

“Merlin, what are you going to--?”

But then Arthur stopped when he saw the sky darkening and storm clouds rolling in. Arthur saw Merlin’s eyes flashing a brilliant gold.

Merlin raised his hands to the dimming sky and then rain began to fall down to the ground.

The intensity of the rain increased quickly. What Arthur found intriguing is that neither he, nor Merlin, nor Luna appeared to be wet as the rain came down hard all around them.

“You’re making it rain??” Arthur shouted so that his voice could be heard over the loud rain.

Merlin nodded.

“How come we’re not wet?”

Merlin just grinned at him, looking rather pleased with himself.

So Merlin was showing off. Of course. Arthur shook his head at the thought, though he had to admit he was grateful that he wasn’t at the mercy of the rain’s wrath. It was nice, for once, to watch the rain fall down and not have to worry about being soaked to the bone – and being forced back inside to avoid getting a terrible case of the chills.

After watching the rain fall for a few minutes, Arthur noticed that Merlin was frowning as he stared up at the gray sky.

“Merlin?” Arthur said, moving closer to him so that his voice wasn’t drowned out by the rain.

Merlin looked at Arthur and only shook his head. The prince wondered why Merlin appeared so stricken all of a sudden.

He turned away from Arthur then, not answering his questions. Arthur grew even more frustrated when Merlin went to the sorceress – most likely to resolve whatever had made him frown. Yet, Arthur didn’t like the bad feeling he was getting. He had thought that knowing of Merlin’s magic would be an end to the secrets Merlin kept from him. But he did not doubt that whatever the sorceress knew about Merlin, whatever Merlin felt the need to tell her – clearly not wanting Arthur to hear it – was just another secret of Merlin’s.

Everyone had a right to their secrets, Arthur understood this. But, he knew – he was positive that whatever Merlin was hiding from him now expressly concerned Arthur himself.

Or at least, surely, something that would affect him. It was the way of things, wasn’t it? Someone keeps a secret from another because they do not want the other to worry. Arthur hated being treated in such a way. Any burden, any secret that Merlin had – he should have felt comfortable sharing it with him.

It was absolutely maddening.

~ * ~

After Merlin finished his brief talk with Luna, he went back to the prince. The sorceress waved to them in farewell and turned her back on them. Arthur was certain she had disappeared by magical means – her form fading away with each step she took until Luna was completely gone.

“We should get back,” Merlin told him.

Arthur was certain he wasn’t imagining it – Merlin definitely looked upset.

He smiled at Arthur, but it came out more as a grimace. Yes, something was most certainly wrong.

Merlin stared at him – his expectant look caused Arthur to spring into action and head to his horse.

“Are you all right?” Arthur asked him, concern in his tone.

He climbed up to sit on his mount while Merlin did the same.

This time, Merlin’s smile just managed to be a bit more convincing.

“Yes, I’m fine, Arthur,” He answered him. Merlin bucked his horse forward – a clear signal that the conversation was over.

They were not far from the castle when Arthur asked Merlin if it was really necessary for the rain to keep falling like that.

Merlin’s lips were set in a thin line. “The rain won’t stop. Remember, Arthur?” He pointed out to him.

Arthur recalled what Merlin had told him about the vision – about the rain coming down hard and not stopping. But what did that mean? What was the significance of that?

Unfortunately, any more questions Arthur asked of Merlin were left barely answered. Arthur wondered if he shook him hard enough that that would force the answers out of Merlin. At the moment, his manservant was being frustratingly vague and stubborn.

They were close to the castle when Merlin spoke up, “I’m going to have to let the rain through. It would look suspicious if we’re not wet.”

Arthur nodded. He had been about to suggest that himself.

Soon after, Arthur felt the rain on him. He had feared that it would completely drench him in a few short minutes, but he could sense Merlin’s magic still keeping the rain at bay – letting Arthur feel only some of the rain come down on him. It was enough to look reasonably believable, but not to the extent that his clothes would be soaked thoroughly.

When they arrived at the castle, Arthur saw Merlin look to the sky again and bite his lip.

Arthur could see that Merlin was anxious.

They climbed off of their mounts – giving the reins to the ready servants in the courtyard.

Arthur sighed. Again, he wondered how he could get Merlin to tell him what was troubling him.

They rushed inside the castle to escape the rain. After he made some smart remark, Arthur was pleased to see Merlin really smile this time. The sad look that had haunted his face was curbed somewhat.

For now, it would have to be enough.

~ * ~

“This isn’t right, my lady. He hasn’t done anything yet,” Gwen told her firmly, trying to reason with Morgana.

Morgana hugged the pillow closer to her chest. She looked at Gwen.

“I know it was just a vision. Arthur hasn’t done anything yet. And he won’t. You’re right, Gwen. Merlin will not be a problem anymore. He will have to leave soon. Thank you for relaying that message to him – about not seeing me.”

“Of course, my lady. It was no trouble at all. I’m certain the prince will appreciate the news.”

Morgana nodded. She did not speak.

Gwen saw the pensive yet sad look on Morgana’s face.

Feeling pity for her, Gwen went to sit beside Morgana on her mistress’ bed.

Morgana turned to her. “Just one more time, maybe, and it would have happened. The risk was too great.”

Gwen squeezed her hand, trying to bestow some comfort.

Morgana smiled weakly at her. “The child was a girl, Gwen. She was beautiful -- she had Merlin’s eyes. As blue as the clearest sky.”

“The vision will not come true. It’s best not to dwell on it any longer,” Gwen said firmly.

Morgana sighed. “Yes, I know. But, the feeling is still there.”

“What feeling?”

“The hate. I saw him, Gwen. I saw Arthur kill my child.”

“You know that he wouldn’t do that. The girl was Merlin’s as well. He wouldn’t have done such an act if he knew that.”

Morgana let out a choked laugh at Gwen’s words. “Any child of Merlin’s will be too powerful, too dangerous. It is better that he never have a child of his own blood.”

“You can’t honestly believe that!” Gwen exclaimed.

Morgana only shrugged. “Maybe someday he will be like a father to someone. I do not know.”

Gwen shook her head. She did not want to hear anymore. “You should rest, my lady.”

But Morgana ignored her request. “I plan to leave Camelot. I can’t get rid of that feeling. When I see Arthur next, I fear I will only see blood on his hands," She nodded to herself. "I will seek out the Druids.”

“If you think that’s best,” Gwen answered her quietly.

But then Morgana grasped both of Gwen’s hands in hers. She made sure to catch Gwen’s eyes so that they were looking directly at one another. “I would like it very much if you come with me, Gwen. You’ve been such a dear and loyal friend to me.”

Gwen sighed and she placed her hand on Morgana’s cheek. “I will think on it, but you have my loyalty, my lady.”

Morgana smiled gratefully at her.

Feeling more at ease, Morgana went to her desk to write down her thoughts on paper. Gwen sat down beside her and she proceeded to repair a rip in one of her lady’s dresses.

They fell into an amicable silence.

~ * ~