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Merlin fic: Nothing Has Changed (7b/8)
Title: Nothing Has Changed (7b/8)
Author: dk323
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Merlin/Arthur, others
Spoilers: Merlin ~ Tag to season 1 finale, “Le Morte D'Arthur”
Disclaimer: The show “Merlin” is property of the BBC. The Dark Is Rising book series is property of Susan Cooper. No money being made.
Summary: Fearing losing control of his magic, Merlin gives his magic up. But then Arthur gets involved…
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7a | Part 7b | Part 8a
Part 7b: Because the older Merlin is not fond of the underground cavern, Merlin gets taken outside of Time to have their talk. Arthur gets a surprise visitor.
Author's Notes: Some scenes planned for this chapter didn't make it in. They'll be in Chapter 8 (the final chapter), which may be divided up as Chapter 7 was. This chapter took quite some time to write and I'm overall satisfied with it. I'm sorry to leave this chapter on a cliffhanger for Merlin and Arthur...shame on me. ;)
~ * ~
“And now we may have rest, in the quiet silver-circled castle at the back of the North Wind, among the apple trees. And those we leave behind may think of us in greeting each night, when the crown of the North Wind, the Corona Borealis, rises above the horizon in its circlet of stars.”
(Silver on the Tree, 268 | The Dark Is Rising Sequence by Susan Cooper)
~ * ~
Future:
Mentor and pupil were resting in a small clearing not far from the dwelling that the mentor resided in, where he had lived quietly in seclusion for years with only his faithful companion, his phoenix Archimedes, for company. And Merlin had waited for so many years -- he had lost count – for the reason why he was living vigilantly in a world that was not his own.
It had not been the world he had been born into and it was not the world where he had served Prince Arthur as his manservant. And it most certainly was not the world where Camelot had been darkened by the ban on magic, which Arthur, as king, had put an end to – the events that had transpired with the sorceress Luna changing their relationship forever --, Merlin as his advisor always by his side.
Sometimes Merlin yearned to go back to his world, when the wait for his true purpose in this place became almost unbearable. He had left after Arthur had died in battle; Merlin’s service to the king, to his friend, to his closest confidante was done. But Merlin’s duty was not fulfilled. After being bestowed the gift of immortality, he still had work to do.
He worried that when he did come back to the world he had left -- would he be too late? Would he be too soon? He had heard whispers, thinly made promises that Arthur would be reborn when the time was right. But he could only guess when that would be. Would he find Arthur as a newly born child when he returned? Or would he have to wait even longer to see that face again? To feel Arthur’s touch? To see his blue eyes twinkle with life? To hear him laugh his deep, full laugh again?
But now, he did not try to dwell on these yearnings. This world had its Arthur too who needed guidance, who needed his help. For in the end, this young Arthur was the reason why Merlin stayed in this world unlike his own. He had waited for him to insure that this world would have its hero, its savior.
There was a troubling threat in this world, which this Arthur saw first hand when he was a boy, only seven years of age. He had lost his father then and he was not being raised as a prince. But that did not deter the tales of Arthur becoming a great and good king. Some things never changed and this was one such instance. Merlin did the best he could to guide the boy on to the right path where the future shined bright with the enemy defeated.
As he schooled the boy, Merlin could not deny that he saw a bit of his Arthur in this one, too. Though this Arthur, he thought, was just that much kinder, and well, Merlin wasn’t so quick to call him an, ‘arrogant prat’ as he had called Prince Arthur when he had been his manservant.
“Merlin?” Arthur questioned.
He was ten years old now. It had been almost three years since Merlin had first met him and soon afterward, Arthur had sought the company of the wizard, seeing him as his teacher, his mentor when he had virtually no one else to turn to.
“Yes, what is it?”
“Why does your face look so young? It’s terribly strange… is it something to do with your magic? Your immortality?”
Merlin shrugged, uncertain how to best answer the question. He wasn’t sure himself either. “I don’t know what caused my aging to slow down or, quite likely, halt all together. It was before I became immortal, you understand, so immortality can not be the culprit. It just happened without me asking for it. I can not even use my magic to effectively mask the truth. I can create an illusion of sorts, but as you have noticed, the spell is not perfect. But it will have to do.” He smiled softly at him.
Arthur appeared thoughtful for a moment. He sometimes did have the penchant to be wise beyond his years. The maturity had startled Merlin on more than one occasion, but he was beginning to get used to it. He supposed it was that great tragedy that Arthur had endured at so young an age – a boy so young should not have to deal with seeing such suffering, such dark deeds perpetrated before him – that had caused him to grow up more quickly than Merlin was comfortable with.
Merlin did not anticipate Arthur shifting closer to him and then, curiously, he reached out his hand to touch Merlin’s face, feeling the smoothness under his fingertips.
Merlin closed his eyes involuntarily for a brief moment before opening them again to find Arthur’s discerning gaze upon him.
But then Arthur dropped his hand, a small smile on his lips.
“Magic has its limits, doesn’t it?” Arthur mused.
Merlin nodded. “Yes, that is one lesson you should remember, Arthur. To have magic does not mean you could control the world with it. Magic--”
“—is neither good nor evil, but it is how you intend to use it that matters most in the end. I remember,” he said dutifully.
Merlin smiled back at him and he returned to his book.
Arthur looked to the skies and when he caught sight of Archimedes, Merlin’s silver and blue phoenix, descending to the ground, he was struck with an idea.
“I want to go flying, Merlin,” he entreated him.
Merlin quirked his brow at him. “You haven’t been turned into a bird yet. Are you absolutely certain that you’re ready, Arthur?”
Arthur nodded eagerly. “I’m ready. I know I am. Please, Merlin.”
And then Arthur wrapped his arms around him in a hug and he said, “I’ll devote a whole day to arithmetic or history – whichever you prefer.”
“Resorting to bribery, are we?” Merlin smirked at him.
Arthur only grinned back, letting go of him, and deigning instead to settle his attentions on Archimedes while Merlin watched on in bemusement.
Archimedes was on Arthur’s side as well -- leaving two against one. So, in the end, the rest of the afternoon was spent with the three of them flying through the blue skies, nary a cloud in sight.
~ * ~
Merlin looked uncertain when the older Merlin informed him that they would be going outside of Time. He wasn’t all together sure what exactly being ‘outside of Time’ meant, but his future self seemed to treat it as quite a regular matter.
Merlin couldn’t help his impatience. He still hadn’t been told anything about where – or more correctly – when he would be traveling to and who would he expect to meet, besides obviously, this strange, future version of himself.
His older self looked over at him, seeming to sense Merlin’s restlessness.
“I am sorry for keeping you in the dark like this, but perhaps it would help if you know that the rain will stop if you go outside of Time. The stipulations of the vow do not solely require you to travel to the future for the rain to end. Traveling within Time or outside of Time will be just as effective. We can, shall we say, go around the rules a bit.”
Now Merlin was more interested in going outside of Time – if there was a chance that it would stop the rain sooner, then what was the harm? “And what about me going to the future?”
The older Merlin nodded. “The sorceress will meet you outside of Camelot. I will take you there once we have finished our talk. And the rain – except for normal, natural rain, of course – will not trouble Camelot anymore. So you see -- it will only be to your benefit.”
“But wait – you traveled from the future to this time. Why does Luna need to send me to the future when you could do the same?”
“Because you made the agreement with her. There are some matters that I can not meddle in.”
“And who will send me back after my time in the future? Luna again?”
His future self nodded. “Yes, that’s the way it will go.”
“It seems ridiculous for it to work like that.”
“I understand you may find it tedious, but the laws of the High Magic can not be disobeyed.”
“The High Magic? I’ve never heard of such an authority.”
“If I have my days right, you might meet a lord of the High Magic. Well, I am a lord as well – of the Light -- but it’s not exactly the same. Oh!” The older man exclaimed suddenly as he looked down at a band around his wrist. Taking a closer look, Merlin saw a small, glass covered circle at the center of the silver band. From the numbers around the display beneath glass, one line moving faster in a rhythm than the other, Merlin guessed it was a device to tell time.
“We should go, Merlin. Again, I apologize if you’re feeling terribly confused right now. I understand – well, I am you, after all, so of course I understand what you’re going through at this moment. But yes, we really should go right now. Are you ready?”
Merlin didn’t think that he was, but he gave a small nod anyway. What other choice did he have after all?
The other man grasped his hand and with barely a word from him, Merlin felt himself being swept up in something…he wasn’t sure how to explain it, but he almost felt as if magic were taking a hold of them, forming a snug cocoon around them until…
They had arrived at their destination.
The first thing that Merlin observed about this place was the serenity. A sort of calm settled over him.
“This is outside of Time?” Merlin asked him as he looked around.
They were in a room with a sitting area. Merlin believed that the room could be a quiet place to rest as the day came to an end, but it was still too soon to retire to bed. There was a fireplace ahead of him and two cushioned chairs before the mantel.
The older Merlin nodded. “Yes, this is one of the rooms within the castle.”
Merlin looked at him curiously. He asked, “Why a castle?”
The older man answered him with a shrug. “Why not?”
Great, Merlin thought, as if his older self couldn’t get any odder…or was the word eccentric?
Then he gave Merlin a look of invitation. “Have a seat if you could and we can begin to discuss what you need to know,” He waved his hand at one of the chairs.
Merlin sat down in a chair, seeing the fire flare up briefly before settling back down. He felt the flames warm him, and he did not realize it until then that this room was a bit chilly. “What does it mean to be ‘outside of Time’?”
“It means, Merlin,” the older man started as he sat down in the opposite chair, “that Time moves along as usual, but here in this place, no Time has passed because we are outside of it. My enemies could, feasibly, put me out of Time – mentally in that I focus so intently on something that I am not aware when they are using their magic. A cowardly tactic, I believe, when they can not afford my interference.”
“But isn’t that a lot of effort when they could just kill you?” Merlin pointed out reasonably.
“They can not kill me.”
“Why not?”
“I am immortal. I may die, but not for long. I simply come back to life not long afterward.”
"Wait, if you’re me, and I’m you – then does that mean…?” Merlin trailed off, a nervous excitement and then soon coupled with dread filled him. While not being able to die was a thrilling concept at first, when he truly considered it…to be immortal was to live, to live forever. How did that feel like? How could he even begin to comprehend what that felt like?
But then here was a future version of himself…and he seemed all right. It didn’t appear as if he had gone mad or anything with living that long…and with the knowledge that he would see one year after another pass him by, until hundreds, thousands of years would pass and he would live through them all…it was inconceivable to Merlin.
“You are still quite mortal, I assure you. Although with your – my – magic, you may live longer than the average human.”
Merlin looked relieved, but then the older man still held a grave expression. This was not good, Merlin knew.
“You will become immortal though. Sometime in your future. I know it may seem worrying to you – I remember what I felt when I was bestowed immortality – but it is the way it has to be. You have a greater role to play than even you can imagine now. Your role as Arthur’s confidante, his advisor--”
“But I’m not his advisor,” Merlin countered. Though, true, he sometimes did wonder what the future would bring for him when Arthur knew of his abilities and Merlin would find a place at his side (hopefully a position better than a servant, of course) when Arthur was king. “I’m just his servant. Not a very good one, I suppose, by the usual standards, but Arthur has never minded, not too much at least.”
His older counterpart simply waved his hand as if it were a minor matter. “But this is what will come to pass. He knows of your magic and he has accepted it. The path to your future with him has already begun. What you must understand is that you will have more duties to fulfill once your time with Arthur is complete.”
“What other duties?” Merlin questioned.
He felt uneasy about learning that his perceived destiny to bring back magic to Camelot with Arthur’s kingship was not the last of what life had planned for him. It left him feeling worried and just a bit fearful of what his future would bring. But then once again, he felt a pleasant calm sweep over him and he found himself not as troubled as before. Whatever his future had in store for him, Merlin now thought, he did not have to fear it.
“That is a talk for another time,” the older Merlin’s resonating voice shook him out of his thoughts. “We are getting a bit sidetracked. We need to discuss your trip to the future.”
“All right.”
“You will be going to the year 2008.”
“What? That’s centuries into the future! Why am I being sent there?”
The other Merlin looked thoughtful. “I still haven’t quite figured that out. Don’t ask me to understand the whims of entities far more powerful than I. Which is saying something,” he mused, smiling in bemusement.
“Does Luna – the sorceress who is sending me forward in time – know about the year? Did she come up with the year?”
“She is only following orders. She knew that she had to send you into the future, but the sorceress’ input had no bearing on the year chosen.”
“And why that particular year – 2008?”
The older Merlin seemed to consider the inquiry for a long moment before he replied, “That’s a very good question. In some cultures, you know, the number eight is considered a lucky number. That could be it.”
“So you can’t tell me anything, can you?” Merlin wondered, slightly frustrated at the unclear answer.
“Oh, I’m not completely useless,” the older Merlin tried to reassure him. “While I do not have all the details, I can tell you that you will meet Arthur in the future.”
“What – does he become immortal, too?”
The older man shook his head. He seemed amused at the thought, his lips quirking up in a smile. He composed himself as best as he could before he spoke. He explained, “There is such a thing as reincarnation. It involves a person being reborn into a new life. Essentially, it is the same person, but it may take years from when the person dies until -- if gifted with the ability to reincarnate -- they are reborn. So you will meet an incarnation of Arthur – an Arthur who grew up in the future time you will be going to, and who will be…” And then the older Merlin peered at his fingers and appeared to be counting them off before he nodded to himself and he finished, “…nearing thirty in 2008.”
Merlin stared at him. This was too bizarre. An incarnation of Arthur – he had never met an incarnation of anyone. How was he supposed to act around him? And also, this Arthur would be almost a decade older than Merlin was now. Even his Arthur now was still in his early twenties. Merlin could barely imagine how an older Arthur would be like, how he would act, how he would even look like…
The older Merlin sensed his shock at the news and he attempted to reassure him. “It will be all right. He isn’t as much of a prat anymore,” he gave Merlin a soft smile.
Merlin rolled his eyes in response.
“Well, he still is a bit arrogant, just slightly, you understand,” He conceded, winking at Merlin. “But I’ll be there as well as I told you before. Will, my assistant who I mentioned to you, may be around too. Though he’s a professor at a university, so he is usually occupied with that and, of course, helping me.”
And then his older self stood up, signaling the end of the talk.
“Wait – that’s all you’re going to tell me?” Merlin said incredulously.
He appreciated finding out what year he would go to, although it was so far into the future for him that he had no clue as to what to expect. How different was the world in 2008? It was a year that Merlin had never dreamt of ruminating over, much less actually seeing it firsthand.
And while it was a small comfort knowing that Arthur would live on in some form, and that Merlin would see this incarnation of him during his time in the future; it was not enough to completely eradicate the nervousness he felt fluttering anxiously within him. At the very least, he reminded himself – this older Merlin would be there in the future, so he would have a vaguely familiar face to ease his mind. Merlin felt like he was betraying himself if he didn’t trust himself – meaning the future version of him. Shouldn’t he know – deep down – that he should trust him? That it was simply ridiculous to distrust oneself.
But yet there was a thread of thought giving him pause – Merlin truly did not know the extent of what the older Merlin had gone through. What had he done, experienced throughout his lifetime? And since he was immortal, apparently, Merlin could only guess how long he had lived. His young-looking face, no matter the old disguise, proved to Merlin that if his older self told him how old he was, that there was a chance that he was not speaking the truth.
After spending some time with him, Merlin sensed that his future self had lived many years…possibly an amount that Merlin could hardly fathom. He could see it in his older self’s eyes – something, there was something rather haunted, weary in them and Merlin could only imagine what the older man had gone through, what he had seen that had left a deep impression on his older self.
As it were, more questions were swirling in his head, waiting to be answered, but Merlin knew that he would not get more answers out of his older self. He probably was lucky enough to find out this much – so he wasn’t going to the future completely blind, all things considered.
The older Merlin nodded. “That is all you need to know for now. I can take you back to your Time and to the sorceress who will take you to the future.”
But before his older self made ready to take them back, a deep voice halted their movement.
“Merlin, I need to speak with you,” the man said from behind them.
The two of them turned around. Standing before them, Merlin found a grey-bearded man wearing sea-blue robes. The man had brown hair though it was lightly streaked with grey. He had a strong face, noble, and his blue eyes shone bright with life. He was a man who was very much in the middle of his years – certainly younger than Gaius, quite likely close in age to Uther, he surmised.
His older self nodded. “Of course, My Lord.”
He turned to Merlin. “This is the Lord of the High Magic who I told you about,” he explained to him. He then addressed the bearded lord. “I wasn’t sure if we would see you.”
The lord noticed Merlin’s presence. He smiled at him, and he said warmly, “This is the young Merlin. It is a pleasure to meet you,” the lord said to him, his gaze intrigued as his eyes peered at him. “I did not know you were coming here.”
There was a quiet authority about the lord, as if he knew well his importance and was confident in the knowledge, but he did not carry the pomp that others of high standing were wont to do.
Merlin gave him a small smile, not sure what to make of the lord. “Hello.”
“It is my doing. I thought this would be a good place to talk,” the older Merlin interjected.
“Merlin, you do find any excuse to come here even though you need none.”
“Yes, I know,” he smiled quietly, oddly subdued. Merlin wondered what was going on, but adding more questions to his already substantial list would only serve to give him a headache. Unaware of Merlin's puzzlement, the older Merlin inquired of the lord, “What is it you need to speak to me about it?”
“It is a matter concerning my son,” the lord informed him.
The older Merlin looked momentarily startled. “My Lord, what--”
“He is doing well, I hope?” The lord asked him.
His future self nodded. “Yes, he is, but what could possibly be--” he trailed off, and Merlin could almost see his older self’s mind running through all the options of what the lord wished to tell him.
Meanwhile, Merlin was steadily growing in his confusion. What circumstances had led to this lord not being aware of his son’s well-being? Like he was separated from him…
The lord smiled lightly. “Once you are done here, Merlin, I shall tell you. It is welcome news. You would like to hear it, I assure you.”
“But my watchman – if he has need of me--” the older Merlin said urgently, trying to convey the importance of the matter.
“Merlin, he is of your calling. Do not tell me that you could not sense him from this place,” the bearded lord reminded him, mild exasperation coloring his words.
The older Merlin bit his lip, still looking a bit uncertain. But then he agreed reluctantly. “Very well. I will see you in a little while,” he promised him.
A ghost of a smile came upon the lord’s face, his blue eyes seeming to smile as well. He inclined his head in a nod, pleased at his agreement.
Then the lord turned to Merlin. “I met your friend once when I was a boy. He was a good man. Though our meeting was brief, I could tell that he would rule Camelot justly.”
Merlin was rightly startled. “You met Arthur?” he exclaimed in shock.
His future self cut in before the lord could answer him. “I believe it is about to happen, Merlin.”
Merlin now looked at the bearded lord with renewed interest and curiosity. “What was the purpose of the meeting? What did you tell him?” he wondered.
“I only gave him a message,” the lord only revealed, appearing quite tight-lipped on the matter.
His older self turned Merlin around to face him, both hands grasping his shoulders. He peered at him, a firm, unyielding expression upon his face. “I am sorry; Merlin, but you can not know more of this.”
Merlin was rather unhappy about that. He didn’t need more secrets.
He shrugged out of his future self’s grasp and he turned on the lord still standing there, an unreadable look in his blue eyes.
“I don’t even know your name, only your title. Who are you? Why did you speak to Arthur? Why?”
The older Merlin informed him in a weary tone. “Merlin, I asked him to. You must let this go.”
“Who are you? I want to know!” Merlin said defiantly to the lord, not caring if he sounded quite like a petulant child at that very moment.
The lord looked apologetic, but he did not say anything.
His older self explained to him in earnest. “Merlin, you must understand, this place outside Time is a final resting place for those of my calling, the Old Ones, who are of the Light. Also, those of the High Magic like the lord may reside here. He had once lived as you and I on Earth. His time is done and this is his afterlife, so to speak.”
Merlin felt a rush of sympathy for the lord. Was that why he could not see his son? Because his son was alive while his father was in an unreachable place here outside of Time? “So that means you’re dead? That’s why you’re here?” He asked him.
The lord nodded in confirmation. “In a sense, yes -- in that my time among men is passed. And for those like Merlin who possess immortality, they come here seeking a place of peace. Merlin’s time is passed as well, but he can not bear to stay away from Earth,” he said, a knowing look in his eyes. He spoke to the older Merlin, concern lacing his words. “I have seen how tired you are, Merlin. I know the reason why you do not stay here as you should, but--”
“I know, My Lord,” he interrupted him softly. And now Merlin saw what the lord was talking about. He could see the great, world-weary tiredness upon his future self’s face.
It did not set him at ease that he would be looking like that in his future.
“Merlin,” his older self turned to him. “I can offer you a concession. The Arthur you will be seeing knows everything. I keep no secrets from him. You could ask him about the lord, and hopefully, he will be willing to tell you.”
“But why can’t you tell me?”
“Because it will give you a chance to have a proper talk with him, which will allow you to learn something in the process.”
And that was that. Merlin accepted the offer – though it seemed rather like bribery – because at least his older self wasn’t shoving the matter aside. He appreciated getting a chance to learn more. But he then wondered if it were a trick – what if this reincarnated Arthur was known for being tight-lipped and Merlin would have some trouble trying to get him to speak on the matter?
“Good luck, Merlin,” the lord wished him. “I hope your travel in Time proves fruitful.”
“Thank you,” he said.
The lord smiled at him and, after a few words with the older Merlin, he walked away from them.
“Come on then, Merlin. It is time we were on our way,” his future self said, taking hold of his hand.
“I’m sorry if I upset that lord. He seemed nice,” Merlin said, looking as the lord disappeared from view ahead of them.
“He is a good man,” the older Merlin agreed quietly.
And then the two of them left the place, returning to Time itself and an area not far outside of Camelot.
The older Merlin left him with Luna, saying his farewells, and that he looked forward to seeing him in 2008. He reassured him that he would be there, no matter his penchant to travel in and out of Time. It was far too important a matter to keep him away. And with that, his future self disappeared right in front of him.
Luna showed him the way to the portal, which was a wide and tall circle, about six feet high and four feet wide. The portal hung -- suspended it seemed – in the air with the bottom touching the ground and the top almost touching a branch of an old tree behind the portal. All that Merlin could see within the portal were swirls of rapidly shifting colors. It looked rather chaotic to him, which did not comfort him in the slightest.
Yet Luna assured him that it would not hurt to go through the portal – he would feel a sensation, sure, but not a painful one. And so the sorceress directed him to step into the portal, saying that once he was fully inside, the portal would do the rest of the work without any further movement from him. It would barely take any time at all, she reassured him, to arrive at his destination.
And so, Merlin took a deep breath, released it and with not a little trepidation, he entered the portal.
~ * ~
In the middle of the night, Arthur woke up suddenly, sensing that something was different. It was quieter…
Realization dawned on him. The rain that had been irritatingly noisy and bothersome the past few days had ceased.
He climbed out of his bed and went over to the window to make absolutely certain…
Nothing, he observed. It was just a normal, dark night.
And if the rain had stopped, then that meant Merlin had left Camelot. He decided that he would go seek him out at the earliest convenience. He was too impatient to wait for his errant manservant to come back – and who knew? Maybe Merlin would decide to continue to stay away from Camelot, no matter how much it pained Arthur to think that. But the fact could not be denied – with his father still king, Merlin was not safe in a place that condemned his very identity.
“You won’t find him,” a unfamiliar voice told him.
Arthur turned around quickly. Standing a few feet away from him, there was a brown-haired, blue-eyed boy who couldn’t be more than 13 or 14 with a silver and blue bird perched on his shoulder. Arthur vaguely recalled reading a text about a mythical bird called a phoenix, which closely resembled the bird he saw before him. Though from what he remembered, most phoenixes were scarlet and gold.
“And by him?” Arthur asked the boy.
The boy seemed to observe him carefully as if he were trying to figure him out. It made Arthur rather uneasy. Who was he and why was he here?
“I mean Merlin. He is in the future now, beyond your reach," he explained further, though he appeared hesitant to deliver such news.
Arthur sighed. “Of course the idiot was keeping something from me. Nothing is simple with him,” he muttered to himself in frustration.
He had had a good feeling that Merlin was not telling him the whole truth when he had spoken to him before. And he felt that he had known Merlin for long enough to catch if his manservant was lying to him.
“Right, so what is your name? I’m Arthur, but considering you appear to have come here to see me, I think you already know that.”
“My name is Arthur Pendragon,” the boy told him simply.
Arthur stared at him in disbelief. “Anytime you would like to start making sense, I’m ready to hear it.”
~ * ~
Author: dk323
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Merlin/Arthur, others
Spoilers: Merlin ~ Tag to season 1 finale, “Le Morte D'Arthur”
Disclaimer: The show “Merlin” is property of the BBC. The Dark Is Rising book series is property of Susan Cooper. No money being made.
Summary: Fearing losing control of his magic, Merlin gives his magic up. But then Arthur gets involved…
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7a | Part 7b | Part 8a
Part 7b: Because the older Merlin is not fond of the underground cavern, Merlin gets taken outside of Time to have their talk. Arthur gets a surprise visitor.
Author's Notes: Some scenes planned for this chapter didn't make it in. They'll be in Chapter 8 (the final chapter), which may be divided up as Chapter 7 was. This chapter took quite some time to write and I'm overall satisfied with it. I'm sorry to leave this chapter on a cliffhanger for Merlin and Arthur...shame on me. ;)
~ * ~
“And now we may have rest, in the quiet silver-circled castle at the back of the North Wind, among the apple trees. And those we leave behind may think of us in greeting each night, when the crown of the North Wind, the Corona Borealis, rises above the horizon in its circlet of stars.”
(Silver on the Tree, 268 | The Dark Is Rising Sequence by Susan Cooper)
~ * ~
Future:
Mentor and pupil were resting in a small clearing not far from the dwelling that the mentor resided in, where he had lived quietly in seclusion for years with only his faithful companion, his phoenix Archimedes, for company. And Merlin had waited for so many years -- he had lost count – for the reason why he was living vigilantly in a world that was not his own.
It had not been the world he had been born into and it was not the world where he had served Prince Arthur as his manservant. And it most certainly was not the world where Camelot had been darkened by the ban on magic, which Arthur, as king, had put an end to – the events that had transpired with the sorceress Luna changing their relationship forever --, Merlin as his advisor always by his side.
Sometimes Merlin yearned to go back to his world, when the wait for his true purpose in this place became almost unbearable. He had left after Arthur had died in battle; Merlin’s service to the king, to his friend, to his closest confidante was done. But Merlin’s duty was not fulfilled. After being bestowed the gift of immortality, he still had work to do.
He worried that when he did come back to the world he had left -- would he be too late? Would he be too soon? He had heard whispers, thinly made promises that Arthur would be reborn when the time was right. But he could only guess when that would be. Would he find Arthur as a newly born child when he returned? Or would he have to wait even longer to see that face again? To feel Arthur’s touch? To see his blue eyes twinkle with life? To hear him laugh his deep, full laugh again?
But now, he did not try to dwell on these yearnings. This world had its Arthur too who needed guidance, who needed his help. For in the end, this young Arthur was the reason why Merlin stayed in this world unlike his own. He had waited for him to insure that this world would have its hero, its savior.
There was a troubling threat in this world, which this Arthur saw first hand when he was a boy, only seven years of age. He had lost his father then and he was not being raised as a prince. But that did not deter the tales of Arthur becoming a great and good king. Some things never changed and this was one such instance. Merlin did the best he could to guide the boy on to the right path where the future shined bright with the enemy defeated.
As he schooled the boy, Merlin could not deny that he saw a bit of his Arthur in this one, too. Though this Arthur, he thought, was just that much kinder, and well, Merlin wasn’t so quick to call him an, ‘arrogant prat’ as he had called Prince Arthur when he had been his manservant.
“Merlin?” Arthur questioned.
He was ten years old now. It had been almost three years since Merlin had first met him and soon afterward, Arthur had sought the company of the wizard, seeing him as his teacher, his mentor when he had virtually no one else to turn to.
“Yes, what is it?”
“Why does your face look so young? It’s terribly strange… is it something to do with your magic? Your immortality?”
Merlin shrugged, uncertain how to best answer the question. He wasn’t sure himself either. “I don’t know what caused my aging to slow down or, quite likely, halt all together. It was before I became immortal, you understand, so immortality can not be the culprit. It just happened without me asking for it. I can not even use my magic to effectively mask the truth. I can create an illusion of sorts, but as you have noticed, the spell is not perfect. But it will have to do.” He smiled softly at him.
Arthur appeared thoughtful for a moment. He sometimes did have the penchant to be wise beyond his years. The maturity had startled Merlin on more than one occasion, but he was beginning to get used to it. He supposed it was that great tragedy that Arthur had endured at so young an age – a boy so young should not have to deal with seeing such suffering, such dark deeds perpetrated before him – that had caused him to grow up more quickly than Merlin was comfortable with.
Merlin did not anticipate Arthur shifting closer to him and then, curiously, he reached out his hand to touch Merlin’s face, feeling the smoothness under his fingertips.
Merlin closed his eyes involuntarily for a brief moment before opening them again to find Arthur’s discerning gaze upon him.
But then Arthur dropped his hand, a small smile on his lips.
“Magic has its limits, doesn’t it?” Arthur mused.
Merlin nodded. “Yes, that is one lesson you should remember, Arthur. To have magic does not mean you could control the world with it. Magic--”
“—is neither good nor evil, but it is how you intend to use it that matters most in the end. I remember,” he said dutifully.
Merlin smiled back at him and he returned to his book.
Arthur looked to the skies and when he caught sight of Archimedes, Merlin’s silver and blue phoenix, descending to the ground, he was struck with an idea.
“I want to go flying, Merlin,” he entreated him.
Merlin quirked his brow at him. “You haven’t been turned into a bird yet. Are you absolutely certain that you’re ready, Arthur?”
Arthur nodded eagerly. “I’m ready. I know I am. Please, Merlin.”
And then Arthur wrapped his arms around him in a hug and he said, “I’ll devote a whole day to arithmetic or history – whichever you prefer.”
“Resorting to bribery, are we?” Merlin smirked at him.
Arthur only grinned back, letting go of him, and deigning instead to settle his attentions on Archimedes while Merlin watched on in bemusement.
Archimedes was on Arthur’s side as well -- leaving two against one. So, in the end, the rest of the afternoon was spent with the three of them flying through the blue skies, nary a cloud in sight.
~ * ~
Merlin looked uncertain when the older Merlin informed him that they would be going outside of Time. He wasn’t all together sure what exactly being ‘outside of Time’ meant, but his future self seemed to treat it as quite a regular matter.
Merlin couldn’t help his impatience. He still hadn’t been told anything about where – or more correctly – when he would be traveling to and who would he expect to meet, besides obviously, this strange, future version of himself.
His older self looked over at him, seeming to sense Merlin’s restlessness.
“I am sorry for keeping you in the dark like this, but perhaps it would help if you know that the rain will stop if you go outside of Time. The stipulations of the vow do not solely require you to travel to the future for the rain to end. Traveling within Time or outside of Time will be just as effective. We can, shall we say, go around the rules a bit.”
Now Merlin was more interested in going outside of Time – if there was a chance that it would stop the rain sooner, then what was the harm? “And what about me going to the future?”
The older Merlin nodded. “The sorceress will meet you outside of Camelot. I will take you there once we have finished our talk. And the rain – except for normal, natural rain, of course – will not trouble Camelot anymore. So you see -- it will only be to your benefit.”
“But wait – you traveled from the future to this time. Why does Luna need to send me to the future when you could do the same?”
“Because you made the agreement with her. There are some matters that I can not meddle in.”
“And who will send me back after my time in the future? Luna again?”
His future self nodded. “Yes, that’s the way it will go.”
“It seems ridiculous for it to work like that.”
“I understand you may find it tedious, but the laws of the High Magic can not be disobeyed.”
“The High Magic? I’ve never heard of such an authority.”
“If I have my days right, you might meet a lord of the High Magic. Well, I am a lord as well – of the Light -- but it’s not exactly the same. Oh!” The older man exclaimed suddenly as he looked down at a band around his wrist. Taking a closer look, Merlin saw a small, glass covered circle at the center of the silver band. From the numbers around the display beneath glass, one line moving faster in a rhythm than the other, Merlin guessed it was a device to tell time.
“We should go, Merlin. Again, I apologize if you’re feeling terribly confused right now. I understand – well, I am you, after all, so of course I understand what you’re going through at this moment. But yes, we really should go right now. Are you ready?”
Merlin didn’t think that he was, but he gave a small nod anyway. What other choice did he have after all?
The other man grasped his hand and with barely a word from him, Merlin felt himself being swept up in something…he wasn’t sure how to explain it, but he almost felt as if magic were taking a hold of them, forming a snug cocoon around them until…
They had arrived at their destination.
The first thing that Merlin observed about this place was the serenity. A sort of calm settled over him.
“This is outside of Time?” Merlin asked him as he looked around.
They were in a room with a sitting area. Merlin believed that the room could be a quiet place to rest as the day came to an end, but it was still too soon to retire to bed. There was a fireplace ahead of him and two cushioned chairs before the mantel.
The older Merlin nodded. “Yes, this is one of the rooms within the castle.”
Merlin looked at him curiously. He asked, “Why a castle?”
The older man answered him with a shrug. “Why not?”
Great, Merlin thought, as if his older self couldn’t get any odder…or was the word eccentric?
Then he gave Merlin a look of invitation. “Have a seat if you could and we can begin to discuss what you need to know,” He waved his hand at one of the chairs.
Merlin sat down in a chair, seeing the fire flare up briefly before settling back down. He felt the flames warm him, and he did not realize it until then that this room was a bit chilly. “What does it mean to be ‘outside of Time’?”
“It means, Merlin,” the older man started as he sat down in the opposite chair, “that Time moves along as usual, but here in this place, no Time has passed because we are outside of it. My enemies could, feasibly, put me out of Time – mentally in that I focus so intently on something that I am not aware when they are using their magic. A cowardly tactic, I believe, when they can not afford my interference.”
“But isn’t that a lot of effort when they could just kill you?” Merlin pointed out reasonably.
“They can not kill me.”
“Why not?”
“I am immortal. I may die, but not for long. I simply come back to life not long afterward.”
"Wait, if you’re me, and I’m you – then does that mean…?” Merlin trailed off, a nervous excitement and then soon coupled with dread filled him. While not being able to die was a thrilling concept at first, when he truly considered it…to be immortal was to live, to live forever. How did that feel like? How could he even begin to comprehend what that felt like?
But then here was a future version of himself…and he seemed all right. It didn’t appear as if he had gone mad or anything with living that long…and with the knowledge that he would see one year after another pass him by, until hundreds, thousands of years would pass and he would live through them all…it was inconceivable to Merlin.
“You are still quite mortal, I assure you. Although with your – my – magic, you may live longer than the average human.”
Merlin looked relieved, but then the older man still held a grave expression. This was not good, Merlin knew.
“You will become immortal though. Sometime in your future. I know it may seem worrying to you – I remember what I felt when I was bestowed immortality – but it is the way it has to be. You have a greater role to play than even you can imagine now. Your role as Arthur’s confidante, his advisor--”
“But I’m not his advisor,” Merlin countered. Though, true, he sometimes did wonder what the future would bring for him when Arthur knew of his abilities and Merlin would find a place at his side (hopefully a position better than a servant, of course) when Arthur was king. “I’m just his servant. Not a very good one, I suppose, by the usual standards, but Arthur has never minded, not too much at least.”
His older counterpart simply waved his hand as if it were a minor matter. “But this is what will come to pass. He knows of your magic and he has accepted it. The path to your future with him has already begun. What you must understand is that you will have more duties to fulfill once your time with Arthur is complete.”
“What other duties?” Merlin questioned.
He felt uneasy about learning that his perceived destiny to bring back magic to Camelot with Arthur’s kingship was not the last of what life had planned for him. It left him feeling worried and just a bit fearful of what his future would bring. But then once again, he felt a pleasant calm sweep over him and he found himself not as troubled as before. Whatever his future had in store for him, Merlin now thought, he did not have to fear it.
“That is a talk for another time,” the older Merlin’s resonating voice shook him out of his thoughts. “We are getting a bit sidetracked. We need to discuss your trip to the future.”
“All right.”
“You will be going to the year 2008.”
“What? That’s centuries into the future! Why am I being sent there?”
The other Merlin looked thoughtful. “I still haven’t quite figured that out. Don’t ask me to understand the whims of entities far more powerful than I. Which is saying something,” he mused, smiling in bemusement.
“Does Luna – the sorceress who is sending me forward in time – know about the year? Did she come up with the year?”
“She is only following orders. She knew that she had to send you into the future, but the sorceress’ input had no bearing on the year chosen.”
“And why that particular year – 2008?”
The older Merlin seemed to consider the inquiry for a long moment before he replied, “That’s a very good question. In some cultures, you know, the number eight is considered a lucky number. That could be it.”
“So you can’t tell me anything, can you?” Merlin wondered, slightly frustrated at the unclear answer.
“Oh, I’m not completely useless,” the older Merlin tried to reassure him. “While I do not have all the details, I can tell you that you will meet Arthur in the future.”
“What – does he become immortal, too?”
The older man shook his head. He seemed amused at the thought, his lips quirking up in a smile. He composed himself as best as he could before he spoke. He explained, “There is such a thing as reincarnation. It involves a person being reborn into a new life. Essentially, it is the same person, but it may take years from when the person dies until -- if gifted with the ability to reincarnate -- they are reborn. So you will meet an incarnation of Arthur – an Arthur who grew up in the future time you will be going to, and who will be…” And then the older Merlin peered at his fingers and appeared to be counting them off before he nodded to himself and he finished, “…nearing thirty in 2008.”
Merlin stared at him. This was too bizarre. An incarnation of Arthur – he had never met an incarnation of anyone. How was he supposed to act around him? And also, this Arthur would be almost a decade older than Merlin was now. Even his Arthur now was still in his early twenties. Merlin could barely imagine how an older Arthur would be like, how he would act, how he would even look like…
The older Merlin sensed his shock at the news and he attempted to reassure him. “It will be all right. He isn’t as much of a prat anymore,” he gave Merlin a soft smile.
Merlin rolled his eyes in response.
“Well, he still is a bit arrogant, just slightly, you understand,” He conceded, winking at Merlin. “But I’ll be there as well as I told you before. Will, my assistant who I mentioned to you, may be around too. Though he’s a professor at a university, so he is usually occupied with that and, of course, helping me.”
And then his older self stood up, signaling the end of the talk.
“Wait – that’s all you’re going to tell me?” Merlin said incredulously.
He appreciated finding out what year he would go to, although it was so far into the future for him that he had no clue as to what to expect. How different was the world in 2008? It was a year that Merlin had never dreamt of ruminating over, much less actually seeing it firsthand.
And while it was a small comfort knowing that Arthur would live on in some form, and that Merlin would see this incarnation of him during his time in the future; it was not enough to completely eradicate the nervousness he felt fluttering anxiously within him. At the very least, he reminded himself – this older Merlin would be there in the future, so he would have a vaguely familiar face to ease his mind. Merlin felt like he was betraying himself if he didn’t trust himself – meaning the future version of him. Shouldn’t he know – deep down – that he should trust him? That it was simply ridiculous to distrust oneself.
But yet there was a thread of thought giving him pause – Merlin truly did not know the extent of what the older Merlin had gone through. What had he done, experienced throughout his lifetime? And since he was immortal, apparently, Merlin could only guess how long he had lived. His young-looking face, no matter the old disguise, proved to Merlin that if his older self told him how old he was, that there was a chance that he was not speaking the truth.
After spending some time with him, Merlin sensed that his future self had lived many years…possibly an amount that Merlin could hardly fathom. He could see it in his older self’s eyes – something, there was something rather haunted, weary in them and Merlin could only imagine what the older man had gone through, what he had seen that had left a deep impression on his older self.
As it were, more questions were swirling in his head, waiting to be answered, but Merlin knew that he would not get more answers out of his older self. He probably was lucky enough to find out this much – so he wasn’t going to the future completely blind, all things considered.
The older Merlin nodded. “That is all you need to know for now. I can take you back to your Time and to the sorceress who will take you to the future.”
But before his older self made ready to take them back, a deep voice halted their movement.
“Merlin, I need to speak with you,” the man said from behind them.
The two of them turned around. Standing before them, Merlin found a grey-bearded man wearing sea-blue robes. The man had brown hair though it was lightly streaked with grey. He had a strong face, noble, and his blue eyes shone bright with life. He was a man who was very much in the middle of his years – certainly younger than Gaius, quite likely close in age to Uther, he surmised.
His older self nodded. “Of course, My Lord.”
He turned to Merlin. “This is the Lord of the High Magic who I told you about,” he explained to him. He then addressed the bearded lord. “I wasn’t sure if we would see you.”
The lord noticed Merlin’s presence. He smiled at him, and he said warmly, “This is the young Merlin. It is a pleasure to meet you,” the lord said to him, his gaze intrigued as his eyes peered at him. “I did not know you were coming here.”
There was a quiet authority about the lord, as if he knew well his importance and was confident in the knowledge, but he did not carry the pomp that others of high standing were wont to do.
Merlin gave him a small smile, not sure what to make of the lord. “Hello.”
“It is my doing. I thought this would be a good place to talk,” the older Merlin interjected.
“Merlin, you do find any excuse to come here even though you need none.”
“Yes, I know,” he smiled quietly, oddly subdued. Merlin wondered what was going on, but adding more questions to his already substantial list would only serve to give him a headache. Unaware of Merlin's puzzlement, the older Merlin inquired of the lord, “What is it you need to speak to me about it?”
“It is a matter concerning my son,” the lord informed him.
The older Merlin looked momentarily startled. “My Lord, what--”
“He is doing well, I hope?” The lord asked him.
His future self nodded. “Yes, he is, but what could possibly be--” he trailed off, and Merlin could almost see his older self’s mind running through all the options of what the lord wished to tell him.
Meanwhile, Merlin was steadily growing in his confusion. What circumstances had led to this lord not being aware of his son’s well-being? Like he was separated from him…
The lord smiled lightly. “Once you are done here, Merlin, I shall tell you. It is welcome news. You would like to hear it, I assure you.”
“But my watchman – if he has need of me--” the older Merlin said urgently, trying to convey the importance of the matter.
“Merlin, he is of your calling. Do not tell me that you could not sense him from this place,” the bearded lord reminded him, mild exasperation coloring his words.
The older Merlin bit his lip, still looking a bit uncertain. But then he agreed reluctantly. “Very well. I will see you in a little while,” he promised him.
A ghost of a smile came upon the lord’s face, his blue eyes seeming to smile as well. He inclined his head in a nod, pleased at his agreement.
Then the lord turned to Merlin. “I met your friend once when I was a boy. He was a good man. Though our meeting was brief, I could tell that he would rule Camelot justly.”
Merlin was rightly startled. “You met Arthur?” he exclaimed in shock.
His future self cut in before the lord could answer him. “I believe it is about to happen, Merlin.”
Merlin now looked at the bearded lord with renewed interest and curiosity. “What was the purpose of the meeting? What did you tell him?” he wondered.
“I only gave him a message,” the lord only revealed, appearing quite tight-lipped on the matter.
His older self turned Merlin around to face him, both hands grasping his shoulders. He peered at him, a firm, unyielding expression upon his face. “I am sorry; Merlin, but you can not know more of this.”
Merlin was rather unhappy about that. He didn’t need more secrets.
He shrugged out of his future self’s grasp and he turned on the lord still standing there, an unreadable look in his blue eyes.
“I don’t even know your name, only your title. Who are you? Why did you speak to Arthur? Why?”
The older Merlin informed him in a weary tone. “Merlin, I asked him to. You must let this go.”
“Who are you? I want to know!” Merlin said defiantly to the lord, not caring if he sounded quite like a petulant child at that very moment.
The lord looked apologetic, but he did not say anything.
His older self explained to him in earnest. “Merlin, you must understand, this place outside Time is a final resting place for those of my calling, the Old Ones, who are of the Light. Also, those of the High Magic like the lord may reside here. He had once lived as you and I on Earth. His time is done and this is his afterlife, so to speak.”
Merlin felt a rush of sympathy for the lord. Was that why he could not see his son? Because his son was alive while his father was in an unreachable place here outside of Time? “So that means you’re dead? That’s why you’re here?” He asked him.
The lord nodded in confirmation. “In a sense, yes -- in that my time among men is passed. And for those like Merlin who possess immortality, they come here seeking a place of peace. Merlin’s time is passed as well, but he can not bear to stay away from Earth,” he said, a knowing look in his eyes. He spoke to the older Merlin, concern lacing his words. “I have seen how tired you are, Merlin. I know the reason why you do not stay here as you should, but--”
“I know, My Lord,” he interrupted him softly. And now Merlin saw what the lord was talking about. He could see the great, world-weary tiredness upon his future self’s face.
It did not set him at ease that he would be looking like that in his future.
“Merlin,” his older self turned to him. “I can offer you a concession. The Arthur you will be seeing knows everything. I keep no secrets from him. You could ask him about the lord, and hopefully, he will be willing to tell you.”
“But why can’t you tell me?”
“Because it will give you a chance to have a proper talk with him, which will allow you to learn something in the process.”
And that was that. Merlin accepted the offer – though it seemed rather like bribery – because at least his older self wasn’t shoving the matter aside. He appreciated getting a chance to learn more. But he then wondered if it were a trick – what if this reincarnated Arthur was known for being tight-lipped and Merlin would have some trouble trying to get him to speak on the matter?
“Good luck, Merlin,” the lord wished him. “I hope your travel in Time proves fruitful.”
“Thank you,” he said.
The lord smiled at him and, after a few words with the older Merlin, he walked away from them.
“Come on then, Merlin. It is time we were on our way,” his future self said, taking hold of his hand.
“I’m sorry if I upset that lord. He seemed nice,” Merlin said, looking as the lord disappeared from view ahead of them.
“He is a good man,” the older Merlin agreed quietly.
And then the two of them left the place, returning to Time itself and an area not far outside of Camelot.
The older Merlin left him with Luna, saying his farewells, and that he looked forward to seeing him in 2008. He reassured him that he would be there, no matter his penchant to travel in and out of Time. It was far too important a matter to keep him away. And with that, his future self disappeared right in front of him.
Luna showed him the way to the portal, which was a wide and tall circle, about six feet high and four feet wide. The portal hung -- suspended it seemed – in the air with the bottom touching the ground and the top almost touching a branch of an old tree behind the portal. All that Merlin could see within the portal were swirls of rapidly shifting colors. It looked rather chaotic to him, which did not comfort him in the slightest.
Yet Luna assured him that it would not hurt to go through the portal – he would feel a sensation, sure, but not a painful one. And so the sorceress directed him to step into the portal, saying that once he was fully inside, the portal would do the rest of the work without any further movement from him. It would barely take any time at all, she reassured him, to arrive at his destination.
And so, Merlin took a deep breath, released it and with not a little trepidation, he entered the portal.
~ * ~
In the middle of the night, Arthur woke up suddenly, sensing that something was different. It was quieter…
Realization dawned on him. The rain that had been irritatingly noisy and bothersome the past few days had ceased.
He climbed out of his bed and went over to the window to make absolutely certain…
Nothing, he observed. It was just a normal, dark night.
And if the rain had stopped, then that meant Merlin had left Camelot. He decided that he would go seek him out at the earliest convenience. He was too impatient to wait for his errant manservant to come back – and who knew? Maybe Merlin would decide to continue to stay away from Camelot, no matter how much it pained Arthur to think that. But the fact could not be denied – with his father still king, Merlin was not safe in a place that condemned his very identity.
“You won’t find him,” a unfamiliar voice told him.
Arthur turned around quickly. Standing a few feet away from him, there was a brown-haired, blue-eyed boy who couldn’t be more than 13 or 14 with a silver and blue bird perched on his shoulder. Arthur vaguely recalled reading a text about a mythical bird called a phoenix, which closely resembled the bird he saw before him. Though from what he remembered, most phoenixes were scarlet and gold.
“And by him?” Arthur asked the boy.
The boy seemed to observe him carefully as if he were trying to figure him out. It made Arthur rather uneasy. Who was he and why was he here?
“I mean Merlin. He is in the future now, beyond your reach," he explained further, though he appeared hesitant to deliver such news.
Arthur sighed. “Of course the idiot was keeping something from me. Nothing is simple with him,” he muttered to himself in frustration.
He had had a good feeling that Merlin was not telling him the whole truth when he had spoken to him before. And he felt that he had known Merlin for long enough to catch if his manservant was lying to him.
“Right, so what is your name? I’m Arthur, but considering you appear to have come here to see me, I think you already know that.”
“My name is Arthur Pendragon,” the boy told him simply.
Arthur stared at him in disbelief. “Anytime you would like to start making sense, I’m ready to hear it.”
~ * ~