Merlin fic: Arthur Remembers First (3/?)

[dk323]

Title: Arthur Remembers First (Reincarnation! Modern AU fic)
Author: dk323
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Merlin/Arthur
Warning: Character death
Disclaimer: The show Merlin is property of the BBC. No money being made.
Summary: This time, Merlin is Morgana’s younger college-aged sister, Becca. She always knew she was different when she could do magic as easily as breathing.

What she doesn't know is that there is more to her friend than meets the eye. The Arthur who she first visits in the Terminal Ward at the hospital may not be the only reincarnation of him in her life.

Author's Notes: The last time I updated this was in September, so I decided to rectify the situation and finish this part. Considering I had written part of this chapter already months ago, it would have been wrong to leave this abandoned. :( I changed the summary to fit with what occurs in this chapter. This fic will have a few more parts left to it.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

~ * ~

Past:

The two of them sat across from each other in the study. Arthur looked expectant and not just a little impatient as he stared at Merlin. Waiting. On his part, Merlin tried not to succumb to nervousness, to anxiety – he could not stop it from showing on his face. He wished he didn’t have to do this, but Arthur would not allow himself to be kept in the dark. So, Merlin was stuck. The right thing had to be done. Arthur had to be told.

“You’re not going to like what I have to tell you.” Merlin told him.

Arthur set a challenging look upon him. Oh no, he definitely would not back down, Merlin knew.

“Try me,” Arthur spoke firmly, a demanding edge to his voice.

Merlin spoke then, his words reluctant yet he doggedly continued on. If he just explained it the right way, then Arthur wouldn’t take it as badly as he currently feared that he would. “I’m – well, it’s a spell. An experiment, really. I’m attempting to control the cause of death.”

Arthur narrowed his eyes. “What do you intend to accomplish by doing that?”

“I just wanted to see if I could do it. But it’s only a test run – when we’re reborn again. If it doesn’t work out as hoped then…it won’t happen again.”

“And judging by your not wishing to tell me this – I’m the test subject, is that right?”

“I know you must hate me right now.”

“Why me, Merlin? Do you wish me dead? You could have at the very least told me your plans before you carried them out!”

“No, no, of course not, Arthur. I don’t want you dead – it’s nothing to do with that! I just can’t watch you die anymore! This way, I can know for certain that you’ll be all right, that you’ll have a peaceful passing. And well--”

“Well, what? What are you not saying, Merlin?”

“I don’t know if it’ll actually work, but if it does, then controlling your death is the least I can do…”

“What are you on about?”

Merlin sighed, wiping his forehead in a nervous gesture. “The memory triggers. You’ll remember first if everything goes smoothly…”

Arthur stared at him. “You can’t be serious. How do you expect me to live like that?”

Merlin looked down, avoiding eye contact. He didn’t answer him – he didn’t know what to say. And well, there was still that chance that it wouldn’t happen. The memory triggers were not something to be controlled easily.

But then Merlin said in a whisper, looking carefully at him. “Then you’ll know how I feel in every life…”

Arthur looked at him, shocked. Was Merlin trying to punish him?

“What would you have me do?” Arthur questioned, sounding hopeless.

“The next time – no listen, Arthur--” Merlin tried to impart to him when he saw Arthur’s accusatory look. “It will have to be like this. I’m sorry,” Merlin said earnestly, trying to make the other understand.

“ ‘I’m sorry’? That’s all you’re going to say? This won’t work! It never has.”

“Please don’t hate me,” Merlin pleaded with him. 

“And what about me, Merlin? What about how I feel when I see you die? Have you ever considered that? It goes both ways.”

“But, you usually die before me…” Merlin said slowly.

Arthur shook his head. He pointed his finger at him. “You do realize you may have just jinxed yourself.”

Merlin looked at him wide-eyed and then he swore.

Arthur let out a laugh and then in – what Merlin took as – a reconciliatory gesture, the blonde put his arm around him and he said, “Come on, I’ll buy you a drink and we can pretend you’re not as stupid as you look.”

“You’re a royal arse, you know that?”

“And you’re still an incompetent idiot, but you’re growing on me,” Arthur retorted -- messing up Merlin’s hair afterwards; Merlin muttering ineffectual protests.

They had a lot of drinks that night. And Merlin was pretty certain he embarrassed himself at the pub, but Arthur was used to it. They both needed this – just the two of them. No thoughts of the burdens weighing them down, the distant yet still ever-present beat reminding them of what was to come. Of the next life, a new beginning…

Where things would be different. Where they would have to start all over again…

~ * ~

Present:

“Get out. I don’t want to see you,” Arthur demanded, sounding quite annoyed.

Merlin ducked to avoid getting hit by the book Arthur threw at his head.

Merlin sighed as he went to sit down in the chair by Arthur’s bed. “I’m sorry I haven’t visited in a while. But you know I have my own life to focus on. I can’t just be here all the time checking up on you. You’re not my--”

Arthur glared at him. “Don’t say it, don’t you even dare say another word! I don’t have much time left – I can feel it already inside of me. It’s like the magic wants to explode and take me along with it.”

“I’m sorry, okay? I’m really sorry for what I did.”

“Right. It’s a little too late for that,” he said to him bitterly. He purposefully turned his head away from him, refusing to look at him.

Merlin touched his upper arm to get Arthur’s attention. He turned to face Merlin, albeit reluctantly, a guarded expression in his eyes. “Listen, Arthur. I managed to fix things…well, as best as I could. In fact, it’s already happening now, so everything is going according to plan.”

Arthur gave him an impatient look. “Like me about to die? Is that it?” he shot out.

“No, no, it’s not that…I – don’t you sense it?” Merlin asked him earnestly.

“Sense what, Merlin? All I ‘sense’ at the moment is you making little sense,” Arthur said, his irritation showing.

He was too tired for this.

“Your reincarnation in the next life after this one, I did some adjusting… and you know we can’t help but be drawn to each other in each life no matter if we remember ourselves or not?”

“Yes, Becca, Merlin, whatever…she told me that she had a boyfriend. She was trying to push me away. Is it her boyfriend then?”

“Nothing so obvious. It’s a friend of hers… I found out when you would be born in the next life and when you were still a baby, I took you into the past to live in this life. And hopefully, you’ll be reborn once again in that life to replace that reincarnation. That bit is somewhat tricky, but I’m looking into making it work,” Merlin explained to him, giving him a crooked smile. Arthur gave him a “you idiot” look.

Merlin continued on regardless, “Anyway, I did some memory adjusting and well, as far as she knows, she was adopted.”

“Meddling with my life again, are we?” Arthur remarked. “And I think I rather not know why you said ‘she.’ If that means what I think it means--”

Merlin’s blue eyes twinkled in amusement. Arthur placed his hands over his face and groaned. “Can my life get any worse?” he muttered.

“Well, if Becca is a girl, then of course she’ll have friends who are girls.”

“I hate you with a passion, Merlin. I hope you understand that,” Arthur retorted, though there was little bite in his words.

“Don’t worry. I received the message loud and clear,” Merlin reassured him.

“Doing something right for once,” Arthur said in mock surprise. He sighed tiredly then.

Merlin bit his lip, looking apologetically at him. “I can help to ease the pain if you wish me to.”

“I’m not in pain, Merlin. It’s just…the magic is tiring me out. I hate feeling like this, like an invalid. But I just feel so tired most of the time, and it gets worse each passing day.”

“…but you’re not in pain,” Merlin reasserted, trying to comfort him in some way.

Arthur gave him a small smile. And shortly after, he closed his eyes and he fell asleep.

Merlin stayed for a little while longer, watching him sleep, before he knew he had to leave. He needed to do one more thing before he returned to his life.

~ * ~

“Long live the King! Long live the King!” the people in the hall cheered.

King Arthur smiled, surveying his people, and great pride swelled in his chest. He thought this day would never come, the day he would be crowned King of Camelot.

At his right hand side stood Merlin, resplendent in deep blue robes.

Merlin leaned toward him. “Ah now, you’ll be a kingly prat,” he whispered to Arthur, a teasing smile upon his lips.

“I can have you put in the stocks for that,” he shot back at him.

Merlin chuckled. “You can certainly try, your majesty,” he jibed him.

Merlin grinned brightly at him all the same. He looked as happy as Arthur felt.

Arthur knew that on this day, there would be little to upset him. This day was one of celebration and nothing could damper his good mood. With Merlin by his side and the support of his people, he couldn’t ask for more.

She woke up suddenly, sitting up in bed. Her blue eyes were wild, looking everywhere around her, and trying to discern her surroundings after the strange dream she had had.

It didn’t feel like just a dream, though. It had, she was sure of it, felt like she was recalling a memory from long ago.

Impatiently, she swiped at her blonde hair, moving an errant lock from her face.

And then upon seeing a man not unlike the one wearing the blue robes in her not-dream in her room, she felt her mind become swarmed with a whole collection of memories, of past lives, her – no – his lives?

“I can not believe that I’m a girl. This is your doing, isn’t it, Merlin?”

Merlin smiled innocently at her. “You know that I don’t have control over gender. If I did, you’d be a girl more often, Arthur.”

She glared at him. “This is not a laughing matter.”

“I’m not laughing…” Merlin denied, though he looked about ready to do so, his lips quirking up into a wide smile.

“But I know you’re about to!” She retorted. And then she crossed her arms across her chest, gracing Merlin with an expectant look. “Well, why did you come here? Besides making me remember?”

“I just wanted to ask if you could see Arthur – the one who Becca told you about?”

“Yes…wait, has she remembered yet?” she asked urgently.

Admittedly, it was a bit odd for her friend to have the ability to do magic and yet not remember her true identity.

Merlin shook his head. “I don’t think so. The memory triggers are different, they change in each life and they’re different for each person. But if you could, I want you to see Arthur before…before he passes on. You could bring Becca along if you wish. But I can’t be there because I have to go back to my life. There’s little point in me being here anymore. Now that you remember who you are, maybe Becca will remember herself soon as well.”

“For me to remember first just seems so wrong,” she mused.

“Er, sorry about that. I’m sure you’ll work through it. Your name is Adrianne, right?”

She nodded, and then she realized something and nearly rolled her eyes at the obvious. “My name starts with an ‘A.’ How very not original,” she commented.

Why she hadn’t even suspected that she was a reincarnation of King Arthur, who she previously thought to be figure of myth and fantasy, was beyond her. Leave it to say, it was rather jarring to realize who she really was. Although, her irritation at being a girl did help to curb the feeling of disorientation. She needed some time to sort out the onslaught of memories and figure out how to find a balance somewhere. And wonder what fates decided she should be a girl this time around…

Merlin grinned at her. “Good bye, Arthur.”

She returned the farewell, and watched as he disappeared in front of her.

She climbed out of bed and headed to her wardrobe. Opening the doors to it, she knelt down to look at the sword in its scabbard that she had purchased a few months ago. She had enjoyed fencing and still did, but she had become more interested in equestrian sports lately. When she saw the sword in the store, she had felt compelled to buy it.

And now she knew, she understood the reason why. Her interests, her desire to buy a sword: they had all been echoes, reminders of who she – of who he – truly was.

She smiled wistfully as she touched the sword’s hilt.

~ * ~
 
*** Poor Arthur. :(  Hope this new development is satisfactory...