FIC: Father Christmas Is An Alien

[dk323]

Title: Father Christmas Is An Alien
Author: dk323
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Ten/Martha, Ten/Rose (though not ship-focused, it does lean toward Ten/Martha because of preference ;-))
Spoilers: Doctor Who Season 4 (only up through “The Doctor’s Daughter”)
Disclaimer: Don’t own Doctor Who, just playing with its characters.
Summary: “Since when have you ever thought through where we’re going? Half the time we land in the wrong time, wrong place…” The Doctor lands the TARDIS in all the wrong places, but Rose and Martha make the most of it.

Author’s notes: This one-shot is in the same universe as a series of fics I wrote after The Doctor's Daughter aired (so only Series 4 episodes up through that episode are referenced). It's now completely AU after the Series 4 finale (so no Handy and Donna still has her memories). It takes place six months more or less after “The Doctor’s Daughter”.

This is my take on what would happen if Rose returned to traveling with the Doctor after she comes back from the parallel universe. Martha joins them for a trip or two once in a while. Rose and Martha are good friends at this point in the series. Donna travels with them as well, but she's off visiting family during this story. 
 

~ * ~

 

Sitting beside each other in the seats by the console, Rose and Martha tried not to laugh as the Doctor rubbed the back of his head. A large pile of bananas littered the console floor.

”Whose idea was it to have bananas fall on my head?”

 

Martha quickly spoke up, “It was Rose’s. I had nothing to do with it.”

 

Rose lightly punched her in the shoulder in response, “Oh, shut up. I thought of the idea yeah, but the TARDIS helped. And remember, Martha, you were the one who bought the bananas.”

 

Martha shook her head and leaned toward the other woman from her seat, whispering in her ear, “There was more than enough in the pantry, mind you.”

 

Rose howled with laughter, holding on to Martha to keep from falling off of the chair.

 

Martha just gave the Doctor a smug look. He looked back and forth between the two at a loss as to what to say.

 

“You two are having me on, aren’t you?” He stated.

 

Martha just went up to him and touched his nose, “It’s a companion thing. You should be used to it by now,” She kissed him on the cheek.

 

The Doctor smiled quietly, looking down in hopes that neither would notice the regretful look on his face.

 

“Well then, I’m going to go and change. When are we landing, Doctor?” Martha asked after she stepped away from him, unaware of his reaction.

 

“What?” The Doctor looked up, “Oh, uh we’re still in the Vortex. I’m still thinking about where we should go – this being the Christmas trip.”

 

Rose rolled her eyes, “Since when have you ever thought through where we’re going? Half the time we land in the wrong time, wrong place…Ow!” She cried out as the Doctor threw a banana at her.

 

“I better leave before--” Martha cut herself off, watching nervously as the Doctor directed his attention to her, tossing a banana back and forth in his hands.

 

Rose winked at Martha and grabbed a few peeled bananas before she went up behind the Doctor. Before he realized what was about to happen, Rose climbed up on his back and tackled him to the ground. She placed the bananas on his head and mashed them down with her hand so that they formed a layer over his hair.

 

“Rose! That’s my hair,” He said, feeling put upon.

 

“Banana pudding, good enough to eat,” She only said, licking her finger which had some mashed banana on it.

 

Martha gave her the thumbs up and left the console room.

 

“All right then, mister. What was that look on your face about – when Martha kissed you?” Rose asked as she got off of him.

 

“I have banana in my hair,” The Doctor moaned, touching his hair to check how bad it was.

 

“Don’t be such a baby about it. C’mon, what’s going on?” She pressed, taking his hand and leading him to a seat.

 

“It’s complicated. She’s engaged after all.”

 

Rose directed her gaze upward, and then turned in her seat to face him, “It didn’t stop you two from sleeping together, did it? What – that didn’t mean anything to you?”

 

“It meant something, but it’s complicated like I said.”

 

“What goes on in the TARDIS, stays in the TARDIS yeah? Is this a game to you, Doctor?”

 

The Doctor stared at her, shocked at what she was insinuating, “No, never,” He said firmly, “I don’t want to talk about this, Rose.”

 

Rose sighed, “Martha knows what you’re doing. You two are dancin’ around each other, it’s silly. And Doctor,” She stopped, getting him to look her in the eye.

 

“Yes?”

 

“Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt,” She finished, patting his banana-covered head afterwards.

 

“Right.”

 

“Okay, I have a bucket of warm water. I’m not afraid to use it,” Martha said as she came back into the console room; now wearing a dark velvet jacket with a red shirt underneath and a pair of jeans.

 

As she walked up to the Doctor, he looked from the bucket to her, “You’re not going to just dump that on my head, are you?”

 

She just grinned at him, “How else would I do it?”

 

Rose scooted over as Martha went to sit on the Doctor’s lap and tipped the bucket over his head.

 

“I’m not too sure that helped, Martha.” The Doctor commented, moving sopping wet hair out of his eyes.

 

She just kissed his nose, “Be glad I used warm water.”

 

“Oh, Martha, I haven’t seen those earrings before.” Rose brought up, noticing the crescent moon earrings she was wearing. They had an otherworldly presence to them with the way that they glowed and changed colors.

 

Martha smiled, standing up, “The Doctor gave them to me last night. Early Christmas present.”

 

“What were you plannin’ on givin’ me, Doctor?” Rose asked, looking to him.

 

The Doctor practically jumped off of his seat at the same moment, “I think I got it. What about 19th century Cardiff? Remember we went there on your first trip to the past, Rose?”

 

Rose waved her hand, “Martha told me you took her to see Shakespeare. Real charmer, he was yeah?”

 

“Yeah, I’m positive I was the inspiration for his Dark Lady,” Martha added, smiling at the memory, “Of course the Doctor took it all in stride, not jealous one bit. True, it was my first trip and all, but-”

 

“Maybe he was just shy,” Rose said wisely.

 

“I was not shy! I was--”

 

“Being a girl and moping over me? And being rude to Martha too?”

 

“I thought I’d never see you again!” The Doctor said, his voice rising in frustration.

 

“Okay you two. We can’t change the past. Are we going anywhere any time soon?” Martha cut in, trying to be the moderator.

 

“My present, mister. I’m not leavin’ this ship until I get it.” Rose said, her tone firm. She sat back against her seat, arms folded across her chest.

 

“I thought a trip would be enough. You seem to always like them,”

 

“But that’s what we always do! Something different – even tacky moon earrings like you got for Martha!”

 

Going back to sit down, Martha closed her eyes and counted down from ten silently in her head. Hopefully this would be over soon.

 

“They are not tacky!” He said defensively, “They’re made of alien material and they have symbolic meaning, don't they, Martha?" But when she didn't comment, he continued on, "And they’re meant to protect the wearer against--”

 

“--Captain Jack Harkness?” Rose finished for him, tongue sticking out of her mouth.

 

Martha couldn’t help but let out a laugh at that, “I hope the protection is strong enough on these earrings then.”

 

“Even if it is, Jack will always find a way,” Rose said.

 

As the two started laughing in unison, the Doctor knew that he might as well leave them to it. He moved over to the console and set the coordinates in for their destination.

~ * ~

 

Once the TARDIS had landed, the Doctor nodded toward the doorway.

 

“You two go on ahead. I need to get the banana out of my hair,”

 

“Wait – you’re leaving us on our own?” Rose looked at him incredulously.

 

“You both know the drill. And I’m fairly positive we’re on Earth – not too sure about the time. Anyway, it’s just a pit stop – probably nothing special. And Martha is a doctor…”

 

Martha looked to Rose, “You think I should bring my med kit?”

 

“Hold on,” Rose said, putting up her finger.

 

She rushed to the doors and after opening a door, she had a glimpse of where they were.

 

She shut the door not a few seconds later and went up to the Doctor, whacking him upside the head.

 

“What? Has Donna been giving you lessons?” He said, rubbing his head.

 

“Just as well. If she can’t be here, someone has to keep you in line.”

 

She then spoke to Martha, “We’re at Henrik’s. Nothing remotely exciting there. Scariest thing is the holiday shoppers. We could go get chips, maybe?”

 

“Yeah, it sounds like a plan.”

 

“And remember, if you’re in the past, do not touch your younger selves!”

 

“Oi! Shut up, Spock.” Rose called back as she left the TARDIS with Martha.

 

~ * ~

 

Rose nudged Martha and pointed out a blonde girl waiting in line to see Father Christmas.

 

“I think that’s me, Martha. About 10, 11? I know what we could do…”

 

“What?”

 

“Well, you could tell her what to ask for as a gift from Father Christmas. Something he probably won’t be expecting. And I can’t do it coz you know--”

 

“So for our own amusement then?” Martha brought up, uneasy about misusing time traveling privileges like this.

 

“Oh, c’mon – it’s just a tiny little thing. It won’t affect anything. She could say one normal thing and then we give her the other thing. Any ideas?”

 

“Well, I made up a name for that device I told you about – the one that the Doctor used in 1969? Drove me up the wall as he took apart every gadget available to make the contraption…”

 

“Oh! The timey-wimey detector! That’s perfect – tell her to ask for that.”

 

Martha steeled herself (“Here goes nothing…”) and then went up to Rose’s younger self who was next to her mother.

 

About ten minutes later, she came back to Rose, nodding at her.

Rose grinned back at her and the two of them waited anxiously to see what would happen.

 

A few minutes later…

 

“Martha, is it just me or is Father Christmas lookin’ straight at us like he knows who we are?”

 

They both looked at each other in shock, “It could only be the Doctor. He’s the only one who’d know about the detector.” Martha said, sure of herself.

 

“Did you get a closer look at him? Is it our Doctor or a future incarnation?”

 

Martha shook her head, “Definitely future. His face looked different.”

 

They both turned to see if “Father Christmas” was still looking their way.

 

“Oh, look, Martha! He has his sonic strapped to his belt!”

 

When they saw him about to stand up, staring unblinkingly at them, they quickly headed back to the TARDIS.

 

“I don’t think he could do much. He has to stay there and do his job.” Rose said as they neared the TARDIS.

 

“Yeah, but that look he gave us. What was with that? Sort of worrying, don’t you think?”

 

“What’s your theory then?”

 

“Oh, I don’t know. I’m just wondering what the Doctor’s future holds for him…” Martha said looking back curiously at the Doctor’s future incarnation.

 

Rose unlocked the door to the TARDIS with her key, “Well, he’ll always have us – you, me and Donna. He’ll be all right.”

 

Martha sighed, “Yeah, but nothing’s forever.”

 

Rose turned to face her, “I should know that better than anyone, but – I’m an optimist. And it’s Christmas! Whatever happens, will happen; but can’t we just live in the present for now?”

 

“Yeah, I suppose you’re right.” Martha said as the two entered the TARDIS, Martha closing the door behind them.

 

“But you got to admit – now we know.” Rose pointed out.

 

“What?”

 

“I always had an inkling that Father Christmas was an alien. Now I know for sure!”

 

“I can’t argue there,” She agreed amiably.

 

“Can’t argue what?” The Doctor asked as he walked into the console room.

 

“Took your sweet time, didn’t you?” Rose remarked, smiling at him.

 

“No thanks to you, Rose Tyler.” He shot back.

 

“Did you two get your chips?” The Doctor inquired as he busied himself at the console.

 

Rose and Martha looked at each other and started laughing.

 

And when the Doctor found out who they happened to see, he had a bad feeling that he’d never hear the end of it.

 

~ * ~

 

“So he’s like, “Rose, he's a bit pretty.” And I say, “I hadn’t noticed” all innocent like, yeah?” Rose told Martha who listened with interest, “Anyway, he turned out to be a bad pick. Jack was much better, don’t you think, Doctor?”

 

The Doctor didn’t look up from his place in front of the console monitor, “Yeah, sure.” He answered absentmindedly.

 

“Oh! I have to tell you about the Doctor seeing his fifth incarnation,” Martha said, excited.

 

This time, the Doctor did decide to look up, “I’d rather you didn’t, Martha. I told you that in confidence.”

 

“I think he’s just a bit self-conscious about it,” Martha told Rose, “His fifth self called him a ‘skinny idiot’.”

 

“What?!” Rose cried, putting her hand over her mouth to hide her laughter.

 

“Martha…” He said pleadingly.

 

“Oh, it’s just Rose. We’re all friends here,” Martha said to him and then turned back to Rose, “And just when the Doctor thought his past incarnation would realize who he really was – his fifth self up and called him a fan of the Doctor’s. Can you imagine?”

 

“Oh, that’s just too much!” Rose said, laughing.

 

“What was it that he said, Doctor? Not quite sure I remember the whole thing--”

 

The Doctor had a stern expression on his face, folding his arms across his chest, “I refuse to contribute to this discussion.”

 

“Someone’s grumpy,” Rose remarked.

 

“I think I remember some of it. So, his fifth self was annoyed at him and said there was something wrong with the TARDIS and he had to do something about it very, very quickly--” She stopped, looking at the Doctor.

 

“—‘and it would help, it really would help, if there wasn't some skinny idiot ranting in my face about everything that happens to be in front of him!’ ” The Doctor finished for her, “There – you two girls happy now?”

 

“Oh, Doctor – we still love you. Even if you are a skinny idiot,” Martha said as she went up to him and kissed him lightly on the lips.

 

The Doctor smiled, feeling rewarded for his contribution.

 

~ * ~

 

The TARDIS landed with a thump, the three of them holding on to the console or a column to keep their balance.

 

“All right, Rose, Martha – I think you two better change. We’re in Cardiff, 1860 – well, I’m fairly certain we are…”

 

Rose shook her head and grabbed Martha’s hand, “We’re going to check. You stay here.” She said, pointing at him.

 

“But I’m the one in charge here!”

 

“Oh, you wish!”

 

“Martha? You’re going along with this?” He asked, looking at her hopefully.

 

Martha only shrugged, “Who says us companions have to answer to you all the time?”

 

A few minutes later, the two of them came back with grins on their faces.

 

“Well? What did you find out?” The Doctor asked, looking at each of them in turn.

 

“Remember that time-hopping alien we chased when you came to visit me before you caught up with Donna? And one of the places we tracked the alien down to was 18th century Venice? I’m pretty sure that’s where we are now. It looked familiar,” Martha said.

 

“Time-hopping alien--?” He said, not quite recalling the event.

 

“After I left you, you stopped by. I thought it was just for tea, but then you’re pulling me into the TARDIS going on about something urgent that you needed me to help you with.” Martha explained further.

 

The Doctor’s face lit up, “Oh, right! But wait – why did we land off course?”

 

Rose waved her hand dismissively, “Nevermind all that! Guess what this means – chance of a lifetime!”

 

“For what?”

 

“Giacomo Casanova, Doctor. Surely you know your history,” Martha informed him.

 

“He might be here,” Rose said smiling and then she directed her attention to Martha, “Wardrobe Room?”

 

Martha nodded and the two of them left the room to change into fancy dresses.

 

The Doctor groaned – who could compete with Casanova? Though the fact that there were two of them and only one of Casanova gave him hope that he’d get a dance from one of them at some point. They wouldn’t just leave him on his own for the whole night, would they?

 

~ * ~

Rose and Martha came back into the console room – both with their hair up and wearing period dresses. Martha was wearing a lavender dress while Rose wore a blue dress.

 

The Doctor nodded at them, “You two done?”

 

“He probably thinks we’re going to abandon him,” Rose commented.

 

“Well, it is Casanova after all,” Martha added.

 

Rose went to hug him and then kissed him, “Even though you didn’t plan it – getting a chance to meet Casanova is the best Christmas present ever. Thank you.”

 

“And we’ll save you a dance or two, won’t we, Rose?” Martha said.

 

“Oh, yeah,” She agreed, but then she revealed a piece of mistletoe and waved it in the air, “You two – Christmas tradition. And it should be a proper kiss too.”

 

“Where were you hiding that?” Martha asked, curious.

 

“Oh, you don’t want to know.” Rose said, winking at her.

 

The Doctor and Martha looked at each other and then the Doctor made the first move. He pulled her toward him, his arm wrapped around her waist.

Martha gave him a small smile and kissed him, the Doctor returning it easily. The kiss deepened; and when they pulled away from each other, both were left breathless. They smiled at each other.

 

“That’s more like it. C’mon, no time like the present,” Rose said, anxious to leave the TARDIS.

 

The three of them exited the TARDIS.

 

“Miladies?” The Doctor said, offering one arm to each companion.

 

Rose and Martha each took an arm and they began walking toward a building where music was playing and people were milling about, chatting and laughing.

 

“Here we go. History!” Rose said excitedly, looking around her.

 

“That’s my line,” The Doctor pointed out.

 

She just grinned at him and ruffled his hair in answer.

 

“I guess it’s Rose’s now,” Martha put in, and the Doctor turned to her, pouting slightly.

 

She smiled at him and kissed him on the nose.

 

~ * ~

 

“How’s Rose?” The Doctor asked as Martha walked into the TARDIS library.

 

“Oh, she should be fine. Just a little tipsy – she just needs some rest.” Martha informed him.

"Good. That's good," He replied, a thoughtful expression on his face.

“Why are you in the library, Doctor?” She wondered.

 

The Doctor stood up from the couch he had been sitting on, and extended his arm toward her.

 

“I was wondering if you’d care to have a dance with me, Miss Jones?”

 

“But I danced with you – more than once even – in Venice.”

 

“Oh, but this is in the TARDIS. I don’t believe I’ve done the honors yet.”

 

“What – dancing in the TARDIS? Is it tradition then?”

 

“When I’m in the mood -- What’re you looking at me like that for?” He asked, puzzled at her amused expression.

 

“Rose told me all about you dancing in the TARDIS. Can’t hide anything from me, mister.”

 

“Yes, well – but what do you say? A Christmas present from you to me – a Christmas dance?”

 

“Lucky I didn’t change out of this dress.” Martha said as the Doctor placed his arms around her waist and she locked her arms around his neck.

 

“Where’s the music?”

 

“Oh, hold on--” The Doctor said as he got out his sonic and pointed it to the ceiling.

 

‘White Christmas’ started playing.

 

“ ‘I’m dreaming of a White Christmas’? Very you,” Martha commented, smiling up at him.

 

“You know me,” He said as he twirled her around, “I’m quite fond of real snow.”

 

Martha wasn’t quite sure how long they danced in the library. Rose told her the next day that she had found the two of them asleep on the couch – the Doctor sitting upright whilst Martha lay across him, her head resting in his lap.