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Merlin fic: Arthur Remembers First (2/?)
Title: Arthur Remembers First (Reincarnation! Modern AU fic)
Author dk323
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Girl!Merlin/Arthur, Morgana/Gwen (implied)
Warning: Character death
Disclaimer: The show Merlin is property of the BBC. No money being made.
Summary: This time, Merlin is Morgana’s younger college-aged sister, Becca. She always knew she was different when she could do magic as easily as breathing.
Becca didn’t remember Arthur, but then one day Morgana gets into a car accident and is subsequently laid up in the hospital. With a push from Morgana, she reluctantly visits a patient named Arthur. But is it already too late?
A/N: This is my first Modern AU for Merlin. Hope you like it. Comments are appreciated.
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3
21 years ago...
“Merlin, why do I need to be here again?” Morgana wondered out loud, sighing. Merlin had asked her to come along with him to travel into the future. Their next lives, actually, in which Merlin had a good feeling he would be reborn as a girl this time around. Morgana hoped that wouldn’t be the case.
After all, the last time Merlin had been a girl was during the days of the Black Death, centuries ago. Leave it to say, it didn’t end well.
She was sitting at the small round table in Arthur’s nursery, feeling decidedly uncomfortable with being in the child’s room in the middle of the night, whilst little Arthur – just six months old now --lay sleeping unaware in his crib.
Merlin turned to Morgana, for the moment taking his attention away from the fireplace. He had been looking over the mantelpiece with mild interest, taking note of the framed pictures propped on it.
Morgana then noticed what he had been looking at and she shook her head. “Really, Merlin. He’s just a baby now – you could hardly expect anyone we know to be in those photos. Possibly Uther, but we all know how you feel about him.”
“His mother is alive,” he told her, holding one of the framed photos in his hand. “This picture was taken recently – look, Arthur is in the picture--”
She went over to him and snatched the picture from his grasp. It was a photo of Arthur’s mother cradling little Arthur in her arms.
Morgana looked toward the crib, feeling sad all of a sudden. “Poor Arthur. What will it be this time? Every life he’s lived – his mum never fared well.”
Merlin walked over to the crib and peered over it, smiling softly at Arthur who looked so peaceful in his sleep. It really had been a while since he had seen Arthur at so young an age.
“She will live,” Merlin said rather seriously, but then he scratched the back of his head, confused. “I think…” he finished weakly.
He grinned sheepishly at Morgana.
Morgana had a sudden urge to whack him upside the head, but deigned instead to get to the matter at hand.
“So, why did you want me here?”
“Well, uh,” Merlin paused, looking at Morgana nervously as if uncertain how she would take what he was about to say next. “I need you here in case Arthur wakes up. I need him to be quiet for what I intend to do.”
Morgana placed her hands on her hips, an affronted look in her eyes. “Just because I’m a woman--”
Merlin stopped himself just in time from rolling his eyes. He had expected such a reaction after all. “It’s nothing to do with that. Really, Morgana. You’re the person I trust most, next to Arthur. And considering this delicate matter, I can hardly have brought Arthur with me. He’d be furious if he knew what I was planning.”
“Right, just so we’re clear,” Morgana said agreeably with a nod.
Merlin shook his head at her words. Then he set to work. His eyes flashed a brilliant gold as he spoke the words of a spell he had never thought he would use. A great swirl of magic formed a fast-moving circle around the room and then –
“Merlin! What are you doing?” Morgana cried, sounding alarmed.
And rightfully so, because at that moment the magic rapidly wound itself into a tight little ball, and then shot in the direction of Arthur’s sleeping form.
When Merlin didn’t answer – too focused on the intricacies of the spell – Morgana rushed forward to look into Arthur’s crib.
The ball of magic was gone.
Merlin stepped back a bit, dazed for a second.
“What did you do, Merlin?” Morgana asked, looking over at him.
Merlin touched his forehead; he appeared to be having difficulty standing.
“The magic was absorbed into him, through his skin. He might feel a shock very soon…should subside…I think…Morgana--”
And then Merlin collapsed.
Morgana could only stare at Merlin’s prone body on the floor. She couldn’t believe it. Before they had come here, Merlin had, in fact, been telling the truth about the spell he had considered using. She honestly had never thought in a million years that Merlin would follow through with that spell. It was a foolhardy thing to do. To force so much magic into a person -- even worse a person who was not used to containing magic – and then weave the spell in such a way as to not kill the person immediately was not easy to pull off successfully.
Inevitably, it would leave the spell caster terribly exhausted. No wonder Merlin had collapsed soon after completing the spell.
“Idiot,” Morgana said quietly, echoing what she knew Arthur would have said on this occasion.
But her frustration over Merlin’s actions had to be set aside when the baby started crying.
Morgana sighed and took Arthur in her arms, trying to calm him down. As she whispered soft reassurances to quiet him – trying not to dwell on the rare opportunity at seeing Arthur so young – she waited for Merlin to wake up.
He had some explaining to do. And she didn’t feel right hitting someone when the person was
unconscious.
~ * ~
Becca looked up at the big house in front of her. For a moment, she lost her courage to go up to the door. But she felt that she had to do this, Morgana’s urging not helping matters.
The receptionist at the hospital had told her that Arthur had gone and discharged himself, citing that he wanted to rest at home and there was really nothing the doctors could do for him anyway.
Of course, Becca had only gained this information through magical coercion because she just had to see him. She wasn’t completely sure why, but she thought there was some truth to Arthur’s words about the whole Merlin thing.
Yet, if she was really Merlin, this great sorcerer, then why didn’t she remember it? Why, after even seeing Arthur, didn’t she remember her true identity? Or possibly, the trigger to unlocking whatever was being hidden from her involved something far more complicated than a simple sighting…
So, Becca decided that she should visit him and talk to him. She still wasn’t sure about being around Arthur after finding out the nature of his illness. She vaguely remembered him being insistent on her staying despite knowing full well that she could do magic. But then she wasn’t sure what happened after that.
She was certain that something or someone had taken over her because she really had no clue how she had ended up in the hallway. She honestly didn’t remember walking out of Arthur’s room.
But she wasn’t stupid – if Becca had to take a wild guess and the whole Merlin insanity actually meant something – then it could only have been her true identity forcing itself through.
Then being an awful tease and shutting itself away again as if it had never been there in the first place.
Leaving Becca more frustrated than ever.
Her mobile rang and she took it out of her purse. She sighed – her friend, Adrianne, was texting her about the idiot she was seeing and how she swore up and down she was going to end it with him.
Becca rolled her eyes. It wasn’t the first time that her friend had said that. She knew that Adrianne couldn’t deny that she liked bickering with him far too much to break up with the bloke – Henry his name was.
“Can’t talk. Busy. Call you back,” Becca texted back.
“Where are you?” Her friend texted in reply.
“Not telling.” Becca quickly texted.
“The Arthur thing, right?”
“Shit,” Becca thought. She almost wished she hadn’t told Adrianne about that. Her friend knew about her magic and sometimes joined Morgana in calling her ‘Merlin’ as if it were her nickname.
Her mobile rang and this time, her friend’s voice came through.
“You’re just standing in front of his house, aren’t you?”
“No…” Becca trailed off, already realizing this conversation would most assuredly not be in her favor.
“Can you walk? Or float, levitate, whatever you do. You know you’ll regret it if you don’t see him. You said that he could be the one! C’mon, how can you back out now?”
Becca groaned. Her friend was right. “All right! Fine, I’ll go in. Happy now?”
“You’re such a chicken.”
“Bye, Adrianne.” And with that, she hung up.
She went up the walkway and with not a little trepidation, she knocked on the door.
No one answered.
That was weird, she thought. Shouldn’t Arthur at least have a butler – judging by the size of the house – or someone to answer the door? She guessed that Arthur was probably in bed and not exactly in the best condition to get the door.
She sighed. Maybe she should just go. But then, she grinned all of a sudden, a fit of mischief coming over her and she placed her hand on the knob. A whispered word and a flash of light later, the door creaked open.
Becca stared around her, taking in what she was seeing. The place was gorgeous with high windows, expensive-looking antique furniture, and a rather ridiculous fireplace in the center of the open living room to the left of the foyer. There was a grand staircase winding up to the second floor.
She shrugged and decided to head up the stairs. She could see no one around, which was rather strange. Surely it wasn’t just Arthur here all alone? Shouldn’t there at least be a nurse or someone about to look after him?
She was reminded of Gwen, her sister’s girlfriend, who was a model nurse if Becca ever saw one. Frankly, she was amazed at how patient Gwen was. She was a saint for putting up with her sister, who more often than not, got herself into far too much trouble than was healthy.
How Morgana managed to be responsible enough to get to work everyday and keep up with the rent for their flat was beyond her.
Magic, probably. Becca wasn’t too surprised if that were the case.
When she was on the landing, she was startled to hear music coming from somewhere. It sounded like, “Fur Elise.” She tried to figure out where the music was exactly coming from, and turned left when she concluded that the melody was louder from that direction.
She walked down that way, passing door after door, until she stopped at a door at the end of the hallway. Opening it, she saw that there were stairs leading upwards. She could hear the music coming clear and loud now from just beyond the stairs. Did the stairs lead to a room then? A bedroom maybe? Someone had to be there because music didn’t just start playing out of nowhere.
“Hello, Becca.”
Becca turned around sharply, shocked at hearing Arthur’s voice.
“Close the door, would you?” Arthur asked.
Becca nodded. “Yeah, sure.”
She closed the door and then she just stared at Arthur. She was surprised that he was up and about – wasn’t he supposed to be bedridden, near death?
“I thought you were…really ill…” Becca said nervously.
“That doesn’t mean I can’t walk.” He told her, sounding as if the thought of being a complete invalid was something he refused to consider himself as.
“Where the music was coming from – is there a room up there past the door? Is someone there?”
Then Becca shut her mouth, quickly realizing that maybe she was being too nosy. She barely knew him, no matter the whole Merlin business. If her ‘real identity’ wasn’t being such a bloody tease, she wouldn’t be feeling so awkward right now – talking to this bloke who was a stranger to her even though he shouldn’t be.
Arthur appeared not to be concerned with her questions. Probably because all he saw was Merlin when he saw Becca. She wished it went both ways…but then again, wasn’t she happy with her life? Did she really need to remember being Merlin and all the memories associated with him?
She could feel a headache coming on. She so needed to have a drink. A strong one.
“My mother is up there.”
“She’s alive then?” Becca blurted out. Where the hell had that come from?
Arthur shrugged. “If you can call it that. I’ve tried to make her feel comfortable, but…”
“I’m sorry,” Becca said sincerely. Now her words felt like her own.
Arthur waved his hand dismissively. “It has been like this for years. I’ve become used to it. I have something to show you actually. I’m glad you came.”
And he gave her charming smile. Becca couldn’t help it, she blushed. Morgana would never let hear the end of it once she was privy to this. And her sister always found out, no matter what Becca wanted to keep secret from her, Morgana could figure it out just by one look at her face.
When they arrived in Arthur’s room, he began to show some signs of weariness and went to lie down in bed.
“On top of my desk, the stack of papers – you should look at them,” He directed her.
“Are you all right?” Becca asked, concerned.
A pained look had come over his face.
“I’m fine. This is always happen after I walk for a bit. It’s nothing.”
“But I’m not helping, am I? Not sure if it’s a good idea to be around me with the nature of your condition…” She said slowly.
Arthur shook his head. “I’m so far gone at this point. All the magic causing my illness is inside of me. Any outside influence won’t have any effect. You’re doing nothing wrong.”
Becca nodded. She knew she should feel reassured by his words, but somehow she just felt even worse. That magic had done that to him – cutting his life short like that, it was terrible.
“You should look at those papers, Becca,” Arthur reminded her.
“Oh, right! Sorry,” Becca said, remembering his previous request. She grinned at him. “I’m forgetful sometimes.”
“I’m really not surprised,” Arthur told her in a deadpan voice.
She decided not to think about what, or who, he was talking about.
She went over to the desk and picked up the stack of papers. They looked like bank statements? And they were all under different names. The stack was alphabetized by last name and there were roughly around fifty of them?
She glanced through the first few, reading off the names out loud.
Blake, Thomas;
Bradley, James;
Davies, Bran;
Granger, Louis;
Hart, Colin;
Morgan, Peter;
Smythe, Joseph A.;
Stanton, Will;
Whyte, Candace;
Wright, Gwendolyn
“Who are all these people? I don’t understand,” Becca wondered, looking at Arthur.
“They’re all Merlin. He has accumulated quite a lot of money with each lifetime – the money is always there when he needs it. He puts them under different names because if anyone discovered how much money he has, it would draw unwanted attention toward him. Merlin’s never one to be the center of attention.”
Becca stared at him. “But, wait,” she looked back down at the papers. Each of these people were wealthy in their own right and combining them all together…that would make – “You’re saying Merlin is most likely the richest man on the planet??”
Arthur appeared thoughtful for a moment as if he hadn’t considered that idea before. “I would think so. But it’s all emergency money, you should know. It’s all there just in case. So that in every reincarnation, if something goes wrong, if one of us falls on hard times – we have access to the accounts.”
“ ‘One of us?’ Who has access then?” Becca asked.
“Well, Morgana is one of them. I’m sure you wondered how she was taking care of all the payments without asking you to get a job? She’s using the account. Probably the Candace Whyte one…judging by the recent withdrawals from that account.”
Becca took a deep breath and then released it. This was a lot to take in. Of course, she wasn’t too surprised that her sister was a part of this. Morgan Le Fay was from the Arthurian legends – it was far too easy to make the connection. With a name like Morgana – and added to that, a penchant for magic – Becca just had to put two and two together.
She would have to have a long-awaited talk with Morgana when she got home.
In a daze, Becca sat down on Arthur’s bed.
“And you’re Merlin. You shouldn’t doubt that.”
“How do you know for sure?” She asked, intrigued by his dead certainty.
Arthur waved his hand at the papers. “Look at the paper on the top.”
She looked again and saw, as if written by an invisible hand in black ink, the name “Merlin Emrys” was scrawled across the whole page.
“It wouldn’t do that if you weren’t him.”
“But I don’t remember anything!” Becca shot back. “What’s the point if I know I’m ‘Merlin’ but I don’t remember what it means to be him! This is just too much – too big. That’s all…I just, I should go. I’m sorry, Arthur.”
He reached out his arm to grab her hand. “No, you’re not leaving again. I’m sorry for telling you all this at once – it was too much for you. I’m sorry. Just stay for a bit. Please?”
Becca really looked at him and she couldn’t say no to that sad look on his face and a hint of despair in his blue eyes.
“Okay, I’ll stay,” she decided.
She held on to his hand, sitting rather awkwardly on his bed.
“Here, you could lie down next to me.” Arthur offered, moving to make space for her.
“Are you sure?”
“I insist. Come on,” He said, leaving no room for protest.
So she shifted her legs up on to the bed and lay down beside him, staring at the ceiling. Out of habit, she conjured some stars to decorate the ceiling as if it were the night sky.
Becca turned to face him, propping her elbow on a pillow and resting her hand on her cheek.
“This is weird,” she remarked.
“You’ll remember. You always do,” Arthur reassured her.
“The question is when. Do I usually remember first?”
“Yes. This time it’s different.”
“Huh,” Becca said, contemplating why things were different now.
“Becca--” Arthur started.
“I have a boyfriend,” Becca cut him off abruptly.
She turned away from him, laying her head on a pillow and looking upwards at the now pitch black ceiling, not a star in sight.
“Oh,” He said, not knowing what else to say.
She didn’t say anything more and the two of them lapsed into an odd sort of silence.
~ * ~
“Ha! Can’t stand being female, can you?” Morgana jibed him. She could say she hadn’t been expecting Merlin as, well, himself to be in her kitchen nursing a strong drink.
“Hello, Morgana. And shut up,” Merlin said, not looking up at her and instead, peering down into his glass as if it held the secrets of the universe.
“What do you need to tell me? And why go through the trouble of changing your look?”
He just looked at her and he shuddered involuntarily. “I don’t like being a girl. Too many emotions -- it’s all too much to deal with. I feel more comfortable like this, but there’s not much time. You know how reincarnation works.”
Morgana nodded. She sat down across him at the kitchen table. “You can’t stay for long. Like a slinky, the current reincarnation will come back. And I told you that it never went well when you’re the opposite gender.”
“Yes, I know. But I could hardly control it, you know that. No matter how much I’d like to. I can only monitor the reincarnation cycles – little details like gender are out of my control. And in the end, it really doesn’t matter.”
He sighed and downed the rest of his drink.
“Merlin – what are you here for?” Morgana prompted.
“Are you doing all right?” He only asked.
“Yes, Merlin. I’ve been using the Whyte account.”
Merlin nodded absently. “How’s Gwen?”
“She’s doing well. She doesn’t remember though. Not yet.”
“Good,” he said, though he wasn’t looking at her. His eyes were glazed over. Morgana knew he was avoiding talking about something. She really wouldn’t be that surprised if it involved Arthur. It always did.
“I’ve done something stupid,” Merlin started carefully. He really looked at her this time.
“That’s nothing new. What is it this time?”
“I – Becca told Arthur about having a boyfriend. I was trying to push him away.”
“Becca does have a boyfriend, so at least you weren’t making her lie,” Morgana pointed out.
Merlin gave her an annoyed look. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Oh, you silly fool. You know it never works out. You can never push him away. You can try, but you and I both know it will never work.”
“But this time, I have to. He’s not going to live much longer. And I’m – Becca is, I mean -- going to remember and--”
“Do you know when you’ll remember?” Morgana questioned.
“Ah, see,” he pointed his finger at her. “--that would be under the ‘little details’ category. I don’t know.”
“Then you should make the most of it.”
“He was – Arthur was supposed to grow old! Damnit, Morgana – it wasn’t supposed to be like this!” Merlin exclaimed, frustration lacing his words. He had a desperate look in his eyes.
Morgana sighed and placed her hand on top of his, squeezing it gently in a gesture of comfort. “Merlin, you know it’s miraculous enough that the spell had not killed him sooner. You should have realized how potent it was.”
“I’m an idiot,” Merlin moaned, covering his face with his hands.
Before Morgana could shoot him a retort, a golden light enveloped Merlin’s body and the next moment, he was gone.
Becca was back.
~ * ~
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its so sad!
*pout*
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I hope you keep going with this!
The next chapter is already started - it should be posted within the next few weeks. :-)
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Yes, and of course, Merlin believes he had a good reason for it. More will be revealed on that point in the next chapter.
Poor Becca, not remembering things.
I agree. It's a pain for her not to remember and there's nothing she could actively do to trigger the memories...
Thank you for reading and commenting! :-)
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More will be revealed on why he used that spell in the next chapter.
Thank you for reading! :-)