dk323 | Merlin fic: Don't say goodbye

Title: Don’t say goodbye {1/1} (Reincarnation! Fic)
Author: dk323
Rating: PG-13 (mention of character death)
Characters/Pairings: Merlin/Arthur, Morgana
Spoilers: None
Disclaimer: The show Merlin is property of the BBC. No money being made.
Summary: Arthur finds that being with Merlin is never easy. Time is set against them, except when it… isn’t.
Author’s Note: I’m not completely sure about how this turned out. It basically shows how reincarnation doesn’t make Arthur and Merlin’s relationship any easier.

Arthur entered the white room, so bright in its lack of color that it hurt his eyes.

The room itself was plain, clinical, devoid of personality. A white, steel-framed bed was against the wall. A standard pale-colored dresser was positioned beside the bed. There was a dark wooden desk with chair, a sore spot amidst all the white, against the opposite wall.

Set in the wall facing the door, a high and narrow window brought in the only light into the room. The light cast a shadow upon the only other person in the room.

Merlin was sitting in a chair, looking out the window.

“Merlin,” Arthur said gently. He neared him and then placed a cautious hand on his shoulder.

Merlin looked up, a blank look on his face. His blue eyes - that Arthur was used to seeing so bright, cheerful with a hint of mischief lingering there as well – were uncomprehending, vacant.

He gave no look of recognition upon seeing Arthur.

Arthur attempted to steady his voice before speaking further. He knew from past visits that Merlin wasn’t one to talk so easily.

“How are you?”

Merlin looked away from him – instead looking at his hands as he turned them over, observing them with interest.

After a few long minutes where Arthur was about to give up, Merlin spoke, “You’re not happy with me.”

He then looked at Arthur, a questioning look in his eyes.

Arthur didn’t know what to say. “Why would you think that? I’m not. We’re all right. I have no quarrel with you.”

Merlin shook his head fervently. “Please don’t say that.”

“Merlin, do you-” Arthur stopped, almost losing his nerve. He should leave. He couldn’t do this anymore. It was all too painful. “Do you remember me? Do you have your memory back?”

Arthur saw as Merlin wrapped his fingers firmly around the arms of his chair. His jaw tightened.

“Merlin,” Arthur prompted. He knelt down in front of him, one hand placed on either side of Merlin.

“You always ask me that,” Merlin said quietly, in a whisper that Arthur just managed to hear.

With a sigh, Merlin continued on before Arthur could reply. “The other day, they took us to a small pond. I touched the water with one finger. The water rippled and I saw what has been hidden from me. It was only a spark, almost nothing. I felt something shift inside of me. A whisper, fleeting, it said...it said ‘it’s almost time.’”

“What are you trying to tell me?” Arthur questioned, not knowing what he meant by his words.

Merlin moved his hand and put it over Arthur’s cheek.

“I need to go,” Merlin told him.

Arthur shook his head. He touched Merlin’s arm, trying to get the other to look him in the eye.

“No, you don’t. You have to stay.” Arthur said with determination.

Then Arthur just resisted the urge to gasp when Merlin gave him a look that he had been desperate to see for months.

Merlin knew who he was.

“Arthur, tell Morgana that I need to see her before the day is out.”

And then, abruptly, Merlin moved back his chair and stood up, Arthur backing away to give him space.

Merlin went over to his desk and took a seat. He furiously began scribbling something down on to a piece of paper. To Arthur’s frustration, Merlin took no notice of him. He hadn’t even told him to leave.

“That’s it?” Arthur said incredulously.

Merlin stopped writing, and shifted in his chair to face Arthur.

“I don’t have all the time in the world. The failsafe has been activated.” He informed him. Merlin’s eyes flashed gold for a fleeting moment before he said, “I’ll have twelve hours at the most.”

Arthur went over to him and without a word, he grabbed Merlin’s arm and pulled him forward. Merlin started and quickly stood up.

“You prat, what is this? I was in the middle of something!”

Merlin could not miss the twinkle in the blonde’s eyes. With a resigned sigh, Merlin allowed him to lead him over to the bed.

Once Merlin had fallen back onto his bed, he stared up at Arthur. He looked mildly irritated. “Really, Arthur. Here? Now?”

Arthur was on top of him, straddling his hips. “Oh, shut up, Merlin. I know you want this too. You don’t know how much I’ve-” He couldn’t say the words. Instead, he started nuzzling Merlin’s neck and peppering soft kisses all the way down his neck.

When he touched a particularly sensitive spot, Merlin moaned and moved his hands up to place them behind Arthur’s head. Arthur’s lips found their way to Merlin’s and their lips brushed. Impatiently, Merlin’s tongue teased its way into Arthur’s mouth – Merlin wanted to taste him.

Even centuries after Camelot, Arthur still tasted of sweat, leather, and metal.

It was home. Always – no matter the years gone by since then. That never changed.

“Merlin-” Arthur said huskily as his hands slipped underneath his shirt, feeling the pale, smooth skin as if it were something sacred.

Merlin murmured Arthur’s name. Obligingly, he raised his arms so Arthur could remove his shirt, tossing it to the floor afterward.

Arthur started leaving feather-light kisses down his chest until his lips stopped at his waist. Roughly, he undid the jeans and he slid them down his legs.

“Arthur – too slow,” Merlin mumbled. His eyes flashed.

And a second later, they were both naked.

“I’ve missed you, too,” Merlin said softly.

Arthur smirked at him and then answered him with a fierce kiss on the lips.

He pulled away and gave Merlin a firm look. “Don’t ever do that to me again,” Arthur said.

Merlin didn’t answer him.

~ * ~

A few hours later, Arthur swore when he found himself back in his own room at home. Merlin had sent him back with his blasted magic, the idiot. Though remembering his time with Merlin, he couldn’t help grinning at being with him. Ever since Merlin became ill, things just hadn’t been the same…

He sat up abruptly in bed upon recalling Merlin’s words to call up Morgana. Right, only twelve hours before things would revert back. Arthur had a good feeling that there was something Merlin had to tell Morgana before he wouldn’t be able to.

Arthur tried not to dwell on the fact of how temporary it all was. Twelve hours was barely any time at all.

He checked the clock – it was 6:00 in the evening. It had been a few hours ago since he had gone to see Merlin. There was still some time left.

Nevertheless, Arthur knew better than to put it off and ringed Morgana. Merlin had said before the day was out after all.

~ * ~

Arthur heard his doorbell ring and went to get the door -- already knowing who it was.

He nodded. “Morgana,” He led her inside and directed her to have a seat in the living area.

She didn’t sit down. She looked anxious – not at all like the calm and collected Morgana Arthur was used to seeing.

Something was wrong.

“Arthur, Merlin’s not reverting back,” Morgana started without preamble. She clasped her hands together, trying to still the tension so clearly visible in her body language.

“What do you mean?” Arthur asked urgently, a hint of hope in his voice.

“He’s going to die instead. He-” Morgana stopped. She took a deep breath and then let it out.

Then she did decide to sit down in the chair by the coffee table. Arthur, taking her lead, sat down across from her in the padded chair.

Arthur couldn’t believe what she was telling him. “Morgana, he can’t die. Not yet. That can’t be true.”

She gave him a steady look. “He gave me the spell. He wants me to do the spell in his place.”

Arthur could hear the stress on the words “the spell.” He knew very well what spell she was talking about. But it couldn’t be true. All the times that they had been reincarnated – Merlin had seen to it that everything was in order. He was always the one to do the spell that would allow them to be reincarnated once again in their next lives. He had crafted the spell after all. And as such, Merlin had always been the last one to die out of the four of them (Guinevere, unfortunately, hadn’t remembered her true identity yet, but Morgana was keeping a careful eye on her friend).

Arthur shook his head quickly. He wouldn’t allow himself to believe it. Merlin couldn’t do this to them. To him.

“I have to go see him one last time,” Arthur announced. He just had to. Then he could yell at Merlin for keeping this news from him.

Morgana leaned forward, putting out her hand to stay Arthur’s movement.

“Merlin also told me that, under no circumstances, you are allowed to see him. It was his dy-well, it was his express wish. I could and I will stop you if I have to, Arthur. Do not force me to.”

At that, Morgana’s eyes flashed gold before returning to her normal green.

Arthur was about to protest, but then he knew there was no point. Morgana was frightening in some respects with her magic. Even more so than Merlin at times.

“I hate magic,” Arthur muttered, annoyed.

~ * ~

“Arthur,”

Arthur was rightly startled at seeing Merlin. He had almost stopped searching for him in this life. After his unexpected death in their previous lives, Arthur feared that maybe something really had gone wrong. Maybe he would have to live a life where Merlin wasn’t present. The thought was too horrible to contemplate.

“Merlin, I’ve been looking for you for years! Where were you?”

Merlin sighed. He sat down on the porch beside Arthur. “I’m sorry, but I can’t stay. I have to pass on this life. I need to find out what the cause of the break was. I have a strong feeling it was sinister in nature.”

Arthur looked at him, feeling intrigued. “What – you mean your illness that left you in that – that godforsaken place?”

Merlin nodded. “Yes. It’ll take a while and it’ll require extensive time travel. And I need to do it alone.”

“You’re making yourself out to be a martyr. I don’t like this at all. Why is it so important that you investigate this? What about me?” Arthur asked, not really caring that he sounded selfish.

If he didn’t know any better, he would think Merlin was avoiding him.

Merlin appeared thoughtful for a moment and then he said, “I’ve been horrible, haven’t I? You think I’ve abandoned you…I’m sorry. I do miss you. I always miss you.” He truly sounded apologetic.

“Then stay,” Arthur said, earnestness creeping into his tone. “Surely you have time to spare.” He pointed out.

Merlin gave him his usual cheerful grin. His blue eyes twinkled. “Yes, for you I think I can spare quite a lot of time.”

And Merlin kissed him, Arthur returning it just as eagerly.

Arthur pulled away to breathe. Merlin was looking intently at him. “Fifteen minutes is good for me, actually. I’m not too fussed,” Arthur said, a wicked look in his eye.

It ended up being longer than fifteen minutes, but neither of them cared too much to notice.

~ * ~

Merlin fic: Don't say goodbye

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