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Merlin fic: What matters most
Author: dk323
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Merlin/Arthur, Lancelot/Gwen, Merlin/Gwen
Spoilers: Takes place during Arthur’s reign as king…
Disclaimer: The show Merlin is property of the BBC. No money being made.
Summary: Arthur finds Merlin and several truths come to light.
Author’s Notes: Sequel to A delicate matter because I couldn’t leave it on that cliffhanger… It would be best to read "A delicate matter" first to better understand what's going on. Merlin/Arthur is the forefront relationship here (it was only hinted at in the previous part). I didn't plan on this idea getting away from me, but it did. Hope you enjoy!
~ * ~
Arthur climbed off of his horse quickly when he saw the still body not far away.
It was Merlin. Arthur recognized him immediately.
“Merlin, you idiot,” He muttered as he knelt down beside him.
Cradling his head in his lap, Arthur looked up at Morgana. She had come to his side while the handful of knights had stayed a short distance away, keeping watch for any sign of danger.
Lancelot was among them, an unease settling over him. Gwen had told him about what she had done. A part of him blamed himself for what had transpired, but Gwen had been right – he wouldn’t have agreed to it.
But if Lancelot had known that Merlin –
He would have tried to stop it, but Gwen didn’t give him a chance to – telling him after bedding Merlin.
Lancelot had known Merlin for years now, and the one thing he knew remained steadfast in the sorcerer was his desire to please others.
He recalled all those times he witnessed Merlin, with his eyes flashing a striking gold amidst a battlefield and incinerating the enemy, pushing them back with the great force of a tornado.
And yet, when it came to matters of the heart, Merlin was as powerless as the rest of them.
Merlin had once told Lancelot that his loyalty to Arthur, to Camelot was what he held most dear.
That he would do what he must for the sake of the kingdom, for Arthur…because it’s what Merlin felt was right.
Merlin had pledged himself to the king, but, until now, Lancelot did not understand the magnitude of the promise. Of how much Merlin would have been willing to do to honor the pledge.
And the worst part was, Arthur had his secrets that he kept from Merlin. Lancelot could foresee the day when Arthur’s omission would come back to haunt him.
That day was near, Lancelot could feel it.
~ * ~
Morgana spoke softly to Arthur. “I can hear Merlin speaking in my mind. He says he’ll be fine, just tired for now. He needs time to recover.”
“Recover from what?” Arthur asked.
He looked back down at Merlin. He had checked Merlin over for any signs of physical injury, but there was none. The only noticeable difference was his paler-than-usual skin. Like he had overcome a major shock to his system and all his blood receded into hiding… leaving rather translucent-looking skin in its wake.
Morgana sighed. She sat down beside Arthur, noticing his trembling yet gentle hands as he checked for signs of injury. She stroked Merlin’s dark hair before she answered him, “He came upon a particularly vengeful sorcerer. It was a long, tense fight. Lucky Merlin came out of it alive…”
Arthur looked at her sharply. “Why would Merlin pick a fight like that? That’s not like him.”
Morgana shrugged. “He is not saying anything on that matter.”
“Why did he leave in the first place?” Arthur demanded, feeling especially exasperated at Merlin leaving without notice.
But just then, Merlin started groaning. “’S hot,” he muttered incoherently.
Morgana placed her hand over his forehead. She looked urgently at Arthur. “He’s burning up. We need to get him back to the castle.”
“Merlin?” Arthur whispered.
He could not understand why Merlin flinched at the sight of him, eyes wide in fear.
~ * ~
Merlin lay in his bed back in Camelot, trying to avoid Morgana’s steady gaze on his person.
“You must tell Arthur. He’ll understand.”
“No,” Merlin countered. He shook his head. “I don’t think he will.”
Morgana did not say anything right away. Instead, she dipped the wet cloth inside the bowl of cool water on the table. After wringing it out a bit, she replaced it back on Merlin’s forehead.
“If anything, he’ll blame Gwen,” she told him.
“But why would he blame her?” Merlin wondered, feeling confused. “What I did with Gwen – that is something that’s not easily forgiven.”
“Merlin, you must understand – I know you’re privy to the arrangement that Gwen has with Lancelot. That Arthur has accepted it.”
“He married Gwen to keep up appearances, yes.”
“And why was that?” Morgana prompted, though she already knew the answer.
“What does it matter, Morgana?” Merlin asked her. “Arthur and I have been out of sorts the past few months. We haven’t had much of anything lately.”
“Arthur believes that Gwen is barren. The trouble of producing an heir--”
“Yes. That’s what Arthur thinks. I’m still not going to tell him. I don’t care what you say, Morgana, he will never forgive me if he finds out…” He trailed off, looking off at some point beyond him.
“Merlin! Have I ever steered you wrong? Listen to me, all right?”
“You should go, Morgana. Just go,” Merlin said firmly.
“Merlin,” Morgana refused to leave.
Then the room started to rumble and shake as if it were undergoing an earthquake.
“Leave!” Merlin shouted, his eyes glowing gold.
Morgana could feel his magic in full force behind his shout.
She left without another word, deciding it was best not to agitate him further especially in his current weakened state.
~ * ~
“Tell him.”
“No.”
“He needs to know, Arthur.”
Arthur graced her with an annoyed look. “You left Camelot, Morgana. You don’t know what happened. He hates it when I treat him like that.”
Morgana tried her best not to smack him.
~ * ~
“Merlin?” Arthur addressed him, speaking softly as he leaned forward in his chair.
He took Merlin’s hand in his. Arthur felt reassured at the warm weight of the hand, at the steady pulse at his wrist.
Merlin looked over at him. Morgana did have a point, he thought. And no matter what, Merlin could not, would not lie to Arthur.
The two of them had been through too much to keep secrets between them. Merlin physically hurt at the thought of deceiving Arthur.
“Arthur, I need to tell you something – it has to do with Gwen.”
“What about her?”
“Gwen needed my help and I agreed to--”
Arthur looked at him oddly, questioning. “Agreed to what, Merlin?”
Merlin cleared his throat, taking a deep breath and letting it out before he spoke again.
~ * ~
The last thing Merlin had expected was Arthur to rush out of the room upon finding out Gwen’s proposition to him.
Merlin didn’t know what to think.
He wasn’t even sure if he would classify it as a good or bad reaction. Did Arthur hate him now?
Or…was Morgana right? Would he place the blame on Gwen?
~ * ~
The truth of the matter was that Arthur had let Gwen continue on with Lancelot. That he allowed it, even accepted it.
Upon one promise that could not be broken for any reason, any at all.
And Gwen had broken it.
Now she had to leave.
~ * ~
“You remember our understanding, Guinevere?” Arthur spoke tersely.
Gwen nodded. “I’m sorry. I really am, but the heir… you needed an heir, Arthur. I knew you wouldn’t believe me, would refuse to. And Lancelot – I know him well, you do too. He would have refused outright.”
He narrowed his eyes at her. “If you’re saying Merlin was willing to be complicit in deception--”
Gwen shook her head. “Of course not. That’s not why I asked him. He’s my friend, my close friend even before he was your manservant. I trust him. I always could.” She sighed then. “Nevertheless, I had a feeling he would tell you eventually. Merlin could not lie to you – I know how much it bothers him if he does.”
No one spoke for a long moment.
Then Arthur nodded at Gwen. “You and Lancelot. I want you both to leave as soon as you can. I can’t have this deception circulating in the court gossip.”
“But your heir, Arthur--”
Arthur gave her a silencing look. “Let me worry about that. There are other ways. And I certainly won’t play along and pretend the child is mine.”
Gwen sighed. “All right. I’m sorry. I truly am.”
His gaze on her was piercing. “Just promise me one thing, Guinevere.”
“What is it?”
“Let Merlin see his child. Make sure to let him know where you are so he can visit you after the child is born.”
“Of course, Arthur. I would never deny him that.”
The two of them sat there for what felt like a long time.
~ * ~
Only the flickering light from a candle near the bed lit the room. Arthur made his way carefully to Merlin’s bed.
“I’m sure you can’t stand the sight of me now,” Merlin spoke sadly, sounding resigned to whatever fate Arthur exacted upon him.
“Don’t be ridiculous, Merlin,” Arthur told him firmly.
He found his way to Merlin’s bed and forgoing the chair, lightly shoved Merlin so he could make room for Arthur.
Merlin made space for Arthur and he climbed into bed. After adjusting the pillow behind him – Merlin’s exasperated look causing him to smile slightly, Arthur explained, “Guinevere and Lancelot will be leaving Camelot at their earliest convenience. I do not plan to be a willing participant in the charade. Producing an heir – that can wait. I don’t want to see the child and see the deception when I look into his or her eyes instead of the unconditional love and pride I should be feeling.”
“The child is mine,” Merlin uttered needlessly.
“You will be allowed to see him or her – it is your right. Neither I or Guinevere could deny you that.”
Merlin looked away. He would not let Arthur see the tears threatening to spill down his face. He hurriedly wiped away the wetness.
“Merlin?”
“Yes?”
Arthur placed his hand under Merlin’s chin, moving it so the other man would look at him.
“It’s not your fault,” Arthur told him resolutely, almost daring Merlin to challenge his statement.
“But—I agreed to it. It was not against my will.”
“Guinevere coerced you into it – convinced you to do it--”
Merlin interrupted him. “No, Arthur. I can’t let you blame Gwen like this—I told you--”
Arthur gave him a pointed look. “Shut up, Merlin. You can’t change my mind. Trust me; she is at fault especially with what she knew.”
Merlin stared at him. He really wasn’t sure where this was going. “What are you talking about? What did she know?”
“I didn’t tell you about a small detail regarding the agreement I made with Guinevere and Lancelot.”
Merlin looked at him expectantly, waiting.
Arthur set a direct gaze on him. His words were sincere and matter-of-fact. “You are mine, Merlin. Mine alone. Gwen knew this. And she still went to bed with you – whether or not you allowed her to – the heart of the matter is, you belong to me. The whole castle will do well to understand that.”
“I’m sure that everyone knows. You made it loud and clear when you announced the fact in public. I think you terrified that one knight – Sir Gawain, was it?”
Arthur muttered something like, “Bloody sod was feeling you up, what was I supposed to do?”
“You know how I hate being treated like a possession of yours,” Merlin pointedly told him.
Arthur nodded. He reached out to stroke Merlin’s hair.
Merlin could see the apology in his eyes.
“I know, Merlin. I should have told you before Gwen asked for your help, but I knew how you would take it. And I just didn’t want to get into an argument about it again.”
Merlin sighed. He shifted closer to Arthur and let him wrap his arms around him.
“No more secrets between us then?” Merlin said.
“No, definitely not,” Arthur answered him.
Arthur pressed his lips to his in a chaste kiss.
Merlin deepened it.
“You’re still feeling ill, Merlin…aren’t you?” Arthur questioned, pulling away. “You don’t want to overexert yourself.”
Merlin laughed. “The illness is magical in nature. The fever has mostly gone… and really, I do feel better. There’s something to be said about my magical healing abilities. They’re very good.”
He grinned at Arthur.
Arthur only rolled his eyes. “What am I going to do with you?” He whispered in mock exasperation.
Not giving Merlin a chance to respond, Arthur went to kiss him again – this time being the one to deepen it, entreating entry into Merlin’s mouth as his tongue softly licked Merlin’s still hot lips.
He could feel Merlin’s smile against him.
~ * ~
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Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. :)
Gwen/Merlin!!!!! how could she?!?!!?!?!?!?! :( oh well. *sigh*
Yeah, that wasn't the smartest thing to do on Gwen's part. I agree.
but this fic was really good :)
Thank you for reading and commenting. I appreciate it!