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Merlin fic: To Love Dearly
Title: To love dearly (Reincarnation! Fic)
Author: dk323
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Merlin/Arthur, Morgana, Gwen/Lancelot (mentioned)
Spoilers/Warnings: None; 2x12 did not happen for the sake of this story…
Disclaimer: The show Merlin is property of the BBC. No money is being made.
Summary: A pregnant Morgana ends up in the future. A reincarnated!Merlin and Arthur do what they can to help.
Author’s Notes: This is a Valentine’s Day fic (sort of, I tried! ;)). A reincarnated! Merlin and Arthur are together, but then an unexpected turn of events reminds them of how strange their lives truly are…
~ * ~
“What do we do, Merlin?” Arthur questioned.
He leaned against the kitchen counter while Merlin sat at the kitchen table, clearly agitated, as he stared ahead of him blankly, mind elsewhere.
Arthur shook his head at Merlin’s silence. He walked to him and placed a steady hand on his shoulder.
Merlin looked up at him then, and soon after, he turned away and covered his face with his hands in a sign of defeat. Honestly, Merlin thought, he didn’t know what to do and he didn’t want to lie to Arthur with false assurances. He knew that Arthur would see through that anyway.
Arthur sighed. He sat down across from him. “Morgana can’t leave,” He said firmly. “Not yet at least. You heard her -- it’s not safe back in Camelot for her. If what she says is true – she has to stay here until her baby is born.”
“And what then? I can’t believe Morgana did what she did. She knew that having a child out of wedlock in the days of Camelot, in medieval times no less – was something to be avoided at all costs. I don’t even understand how she traveled in time. That is powerful magic, Arthur. I don’t know how she managed it.”
“She said she had help. Maybe it was you? Certainly you could--”
Merlin only shook his head. “Remember she said that you were not yet king in her time? That I was still your manservant. I didn’t have the power or knowledge yet at that time to achieve such a feat,” he informed him. “No, she must have had help from someone who was well-versed to send her forward in time.”
“There can’t have been many back then,” Arthur said. “After what my father did.”
Merlin nodded. He stood up and went to make some tea that would hopefully help to ease his nerves.
“Funny thing is that she didn’t say who the father was,” Arthur mused. “Do you remember Morgana having a child in the old days? Before I was king?”
Once he put the kettle on the stove, Merlin turned around to face Arthur. “No, but I do recall Gwen telling me one afternoon how she came to Morgana’s chambers that morning to find an empty bed. But then, suddenly, Morgana appeared right in front of Gwen… and she had told her, ‘I’m back, Gwen. Oh, I hope you weren’t worried.’ So maybe this was always meant to happen. That Morgana had been here – and when she returned to her time, little to no time had passed there. No one had the chance to miss her and everything went on as usual…”
“But she came back alone. She didn’t have the baby with her,” Arthur pointed out, reminding him.
He nodded. “Yes, she didn’t. I don’t think Morgana only came here to have the child in peace. I think she came here to give the baby up.”
Arthur stared at him. “You’re serious?”
Merlin shrugged. “It’s her choice in the end. I could send her back in time to where she belongs, but that is all I can do.”
Arthur appeared thoughtful for a long moment before he suggested, “Gwen and Lancelot are engaged and she can’t – you know. That could be an option.”
“Yes,” Merlin murmured. “Gwen remembers her true identity. She’ll understand.”
“I called her actually,” Arthur remarked. “I thought Morgana would appreciate talking to an old friend.”
“I’ve never known you could be so thoughtful, Arthur,” Merlin remarked, sounding honestly surprised.
Arthur wasn’t fooled by his astonishment. “I can be many things. Some of which you should be well-acquainted with,” He finished with a mischievous look in his eyes.
He left his seat and moved toward Merlin who halted him with his hand. “Arthur, the last time we did this, your hair was set on fire!”
The blond was undeterred. He locked Merlin in between him and the counter. “You did that on purpose. I know you did. After all our lifetimes, if you haven’t managed to control your magic by now--”
“It’s not that…it’s just – I can’t control myself around you!” Merlin exclaimed fruitlessly since Arthur’s blue eyes were dark with want.
“I can help you with that,” Arthur said, his voice soft, but a near growl escaped him.
“But--!” Merlin uttered fruitlessly as the blond did not heed him. Instead, Arthur went for his neck, leaving kisses down his pale, smooth neck, sometimes nipping at the skin, which left marks behind.
“Arthur…” Merlin let out, trying to get him to stop. He could feel his magic rising up within him, eager to be released due to the excitement of what they were doing.
“Shut up, Merlin,” Arthur only said and he proceeded to do so himself by kissing Merlin on the lips. Seeing no use in resisting, Merlin parted his lips so that Arthur’s tongue could slip through.
But before things got any further (and thankfully, Merlin hadn’t set Arthur’s hair or any other part of his body on fire), the kettle whistled.
Merlin gave him a cheeky grin as he shifted away from Arthur who rolled his eyes at the rude interruption. He turned off the kettle as Arthur watched him, his gaze piercing and Merlin was certain that if Arthur possessed magic, he’d probably have melted already under the intense stare.
“I hope I’m not interrupting.”
Merlin and Arthur whipped around to find Morgana in the doorway to the kitchen. She had changed into the more modern clothing that their Morgana had left behind. She was wearing loose-fitting trousers and a long purple blouse that was quite fashionable according to their Morgana.
Every reincarnation of Morgana had a love of traveling the world or, more like, traveling in time thanks to her magic. Sometimes, she was gone for a few months at a time and now was one of those instances. Merlin was beginning to feel a sense of loss as the house that he, Arthur, Gwen and Morgana had lived in after they finished university was getting bigger with less people inside of it. With Gwen engaged, she had moved in with Lancelot a few months ago and Morgana had left just a week ago – only mentioning that she would spend some time in Renaissance Italy “for the culture” she had informed them.
And then she had sniffed at Merlin and Arthur as if they were the antithesis of culture.
So Arthur waved an empty glass at her and grunted, “More drink, wench!”
Merlin had laughed so hard that he almost choked on the chips he had been eating. Leave it to say, Arthur had blue hair for two days before Merlin decided to be merciful and say the counterspell to Morgana’s enchantment.
“Oh no, you’re not interrupting,” Merlin reassured the past!Morgana. “I’m sure you’re hungry. Did you find everything okay?”
Morgana nodded. “The room I’m staying in – it’s the room that my future self occupies?”
“Reincarnation is the correct way to put it, but yes. She’ll be away for some time and I’m sure she’ll be fine with you using it,” Merlin explained to her.
At which, Arthur contributed matter-of-factly, “It would be rather stupid of her not to. It would be like Morgana not letting Morgana share. In fact, it is exactly like that,” he smirked, looking quite pleased with himself.
“Thank you, Arthur,” Merlin said as politely as he could – he was nearly compelled to magic a bucket of water to fall over the blonde’s head. He turned back to Morgana. “Anyway, we have other rooms if she does come back before you leave. It’s lucky that she has clothes to spare.”
“Can’t exactly wear miniskirts in Renaissance Italy, Merlin. Although knowing Morgana, she might just be able to pull it off,” Arthur said casually.
“Don’t mind him,” Merlin said, momentarily glaring at Arthur before he turned back to Morgana. “I’m not sure what you would like to eat, though the food’s not that different. There are more options though.”
“You could have as much salt as you want,” Arthur commented idly. He grabbed a red apple from the fruit bowl and bit into it.
“Yes, that’s true,” Merlin confirmed slowly, giving a pointed look at Arthur who paid him little mind.
Morgana smiled pleasantly at them, but Merlin was sure she was only trying to be polite.
She sat down at the kitchen table and she noted, not without a tinge of sarcasm. “I see that you two have not changed. Just as close as always,” Though the last bit sounded more like, “Just as ridiculous as always.”
“I can make you some scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast.”
“Thank you, Merlin. I’d like that,” she said politely, smiling at him.
Then she gave him a searching look, and Merlin was puzzled as to why she was doing so. Morgana seemed to want to tell him something, but she kept silent.
“Morgana, is something the matter?”
She shook her head, touching her forehead then. “No, not at all. I have a bit of a headache. I’m feeling a little under the weather, that’s all.”
“Morning sickness?” Arthur asked her. Morgana nodded, though she had questioning look in her eyes as if wondering how he knew that. Arthur explained, “I’ve been married enough times to know how pregnancy goes. Merlin, here,” He nodded at the other man who was frying eggs in a pan. “was a doctor once in a previous life.”
“Reincarnation is rather strange. I don’t know if I quite grasp the concept. Do you remember all your previous lives?” She wondered.
They nodded. “It’s something you get used to,” Merlin reassured her. “And now, maybe I should just make you toast. Eggs and bacon might not be good on the stomach especially in your condition.”
“Oh no, I’ll be all right. I don’t feel sick anymore. I’m sure I can eat whatever you offer me. I’d like to experience as much as I can here.”
Merlin questioned, wanting to know. “Why’d you come here, Morgana? Why was it so important that you went through the effort of finding a way to go to the future?”
“I wanted to give birth to my child in peace, I told you. I wasn’t sure what Uther would have done if he discovered I was pregnant when I was unmarried. And I just couldn’t tell him who the father was. There was no telling what he would do. I was scared.”
Arthur went to sit next to her and he reached his hand out to place it on top of hers. “Morgana, we understand your fear and we’ll do the best we can to help you, but we need to know everything.”
“No,” she shook her head quickly. “That’s all I can tell you.”
“Who were you with, Morgana? Why did you risk being intimate when you weren’t married yet? And why couldn’t you marry the man? I’m sure our father would have accepted the arrangement,” Arthur said softly.
She slipped her hand out from under his. “Just please give me this one mercy. I don’t wish to talk about it. I just don’t.”
Arthur and Merlin shared a look, a silent exchange occurring between the two.
At last, Merlin let out a resigned sigh and said to her, “Gwen will be coming by. You could talk to her. And if you’re planning to leave the baby with us--”
Morgana looked up sharply at his words. Then she shook her head. “I’m not sure what I plan to do.”
Merlin nodded and he informed her, “All the same, Gwen is going to marry Lancelot in about a year. We have yet to talk to her about it, of course, since you just came here; but I think she would be more than happy to care for the child. She can’t bear children, you understand.”
Morgana looked saddened at the news. “Oh, poor Gwen,” she murmured.
“Gwen and Lancelot are good people. But you already know that since you know them well in your time. No matter how many reincarnations we go through, the core of ourselves – what sort of people we are – will always stay true and constant. You don’t have to worry about your child – with them, the baby will be loved and happy,” Merlin said, smiling in reassurance at her.
She returned the smile. “I can’t think of two better people. I have a few months to think about it, but I appreciate the kind offer.”
“When Gwen comes to visit, you can discuss it with her.”
Morgana nodded, agreeing with the idea.
Then Merlin placed her plate and a cup of hot tea before her on the table and she began to eat.
The two of them left the room to talk privately. Morgana seemed too focused on eating to notice. She must have been hungry.
Once they were well outside of the kitchen, Arthur spoke urgently to him. “Merlin, I know Morgana. She wouldn’t have done it with a random bloke. And if the father were a nobleman, a lord then she wouldn’t be worried about Uther’s disapproval.”
“I think you’re right, but we can’t force her to tell us when she doesn’t want to. Morgana’s already vulnerable enough as it is. She’s not just pregnant, but she’s out of her time, out of her element. I can just imagine how frightened she is right now. We have to ease her mind. She’s going to stay here for at least half a year. The best we can do is help her adjust somehow for the last six months of her pregnancy.”
“Well, at least we have Gwen to help us with that. A female presence is always welcome in this kind of matter.”
“Ha! I remember how you fainted in your last life when Andrea was giving birth to your first child.”
“I have no idea what you’re on about, Merlin,” Arthur said, trying to sound nonchalant.
Merlin shook his head in mirth. “Whatever you say, Arthur.”
~ * ~
Six months later, Morgana gave birth to a healthy baby girl at the end of January. She had decided to let the baby be raised by Gwen and Lancelot. Morgana grew to be rather fascinated by the advancement of women during her time with Merlin and Arthur. If this future time would allow greater opportunities for her child, then Morgana could not think of a better gift that she could give to her daughter.
Morgana had named the child, Cara, after Gwen insisted that it was her right as the birth mother to do so. Morgana had given in to Gwen’s request. She had told her that she couldn’t be more grateful that Gwen would be taking care of her child – that she couldn’t have chosen a better mother for her. Gwen had been sincerely touched by Morgana’s blessing.
For his part, Merlin was glad to finally find out that his magical detector worked. He had made it as a security device in case any of their original selves (pre-reincarnation) would travel in time and would end up in any period of time where their reincarnations existed.
The detector would locate the person and send them to wherever Merlin was living at the time. This was to prevent unwanted and untimely death of their pre-reincarnated selves before they died rightfully in their time and could be reborn again. The ability to reincarnate would be in danger if the originals died out of their time, and not just that – before their time as well. He could only imagine the disaster it would cause if the original Arthur died out of his time, before his death in battle in the days of Camelot. They would have been denied the ability to be reborn after death because reincarnation only worked when certain factors were set into place.
So when Morgana had landed inside of the house, Merlin felt that the detector was finally showing it was good for something. Frankly, Merlin didn’t think he’d ever have to use it because what reason would their Camelot selves have to travel in time – to the future, no less?
Morgana had explained to them that she hadn’t planned on coming so far into the future. She had simply hoped to travel to her near future – when Arthur was King and she could have better chance there possibly when Uther was dead. And also, she believed that the baby’s father would be in a better position to help care for the child. Unexpectedly though, the sorcerer whose aid she had sought had struck a far too strong time travel spell…and it had resulted in Morgana traveling to a future she could scarcely imagine.
One week after her daughter was born, Morgana was ready to leave and return to her time. Once Merlin had sent her back, he had collapsed out of a terrible exhaustion. He had never performed such a powerful spell before. The intricacies of it – to insure that Morgana would return as close to the moment she left (give or take a few hours) as it was supposed to happen – took great concentration, effort and magic, so that everything would come together in just the right way. In the end, the casting of the time travel spell had left Merlin worn out and ill for at least a week.
~ * ~
Arthur came into Merlin’s room later that week not long after Gwen had left. All that Arthur knew was that Gwen had wished to tell something important to Merlin. Lancelot’s parents were taking care of Cara while she was there and Lancelot was at work.
He was feeling distinctly uneasy when he saw Gwen’s somber expression as she left Merlin’s room. After saying a brief goodbye, she left the house.
“Merlin?” Arthur ventured as he walked into the room, concern in his voice.
He was sitting up in bed and holding a piece of paper in his hands. He looked up when Arthur spoke.
“What did Gwen tell you?” He asked him.
Arthur sat down in the chair by his bedside and he leaned over to see the writing on the paper clutched in Merlin’s grasp.
“Would you burn this, Arthur? I want to get rid of it.”
Arthur looked at him oddly and took the paper from him. It looked like the wording to a spell, an incantation. Arthur had been with Merlin in enough lifetimes to recognize the particular wording of magical spells.
“What is this?”
“It’s a counterspell to a memory charm. Gwen gave it to me. Do you know what Morgana told her?”
“Merlin, I’m not blind. I had a feeling when I first held Cara in my arms, had a proper look at her…”
“She has my eyes,” Merlin said softly. “All this time, I’ve been reborn time and again, and I didn’t know…was denied knowing. I had twins with Morgana two lives ago, remember?”
Arthur nodded. “Kahlan and James.”
“And now I’m with you,” Merlin said, smiling at him.
Arthur took his hand in his own. “We always find our way back to each other. Though there’s nothing wrong with variety, so to speak.”
Merlin’s eyes twinkled, his mood lightening after the news he had been given.
“What is the story behind the memory charm? Why were you made to forget?” Arthur wondered. “That doesn’t sound fair.”
Merlin shrugged, just as puzzled as he was. “From what Gwen told me, Morgana wanted to protect me. Can you imagine that? She thought she could handle the situation on her own – that she worried what would happen to me since I was only a servant. So she traveled in time for the sake of her baby, and now we’re left with Cara…”
“So did you know at all back in the old days that Morgana was with child?”
“Arthur, I didn’t even remember the act of conception. She took that away from me too. I don’t even know how she managed to successfully place a memory spell on me. And I don’t want to remember. That’s why I want to get rid of this paper. Gwen only now told me because Morgana wished that I know after she returned to Camelot. I think Morgana feared what I would say to her.”
“Merlin, I’m sure by now you’d have memorized this spell perfectly. Throwing the paper away will not solve anything.”
“No, I suppose not, but it would make me feel better,” Merlin gave him a cheeky grin.
Arthur shook his head bemusedly and he crumpled up the paper in one hand.
“You know what, Merlin?”
“What?”
“Do you realize how strange our lives are? It’s mad.”
Merlin shrugged and then he remarked, “What would complete the picture, I think, is if you had a child you didn’t know about.”
“Very funny. Let’s not talk about this again. We just might jinx it.”
Before Merlin could answer him, Arthur bent his head and he kissed him soundly on the lips.
~ * ~
“Happy Valentine’s Day, sweetheart,” Merlin said to his daughter who he had in his arms.
Arthur sat down beside them. He cooed at the baby in greeting before he turned his attention to Merlin. “So, if I’m correct, Gwen and Lancelot left us Cara to babysit on Valentine’s Day of all days.”
Merlin seemed unconcerned. “Well, they wanted some alone time together since it is Valentine’s Day. And Cara is my daughter… I should spend time with her.”
“Cara is going to think we’re mad when she grows up and starts asking about her birth parents. ‘Yes, Cara, Merlin is your father…no…not that one, the original one. Oh, and your mother was born 1500 years ago. Her name was Morgana and she was King Arthur’s sister.’ That will go over brilliantly, I’m sure.”
“We’ll figure something out when the time comes,” Merlin said reasonably.
“And if she has magic too?” Arthur asked.
“She probably won’t…” But Merlin sounded uncertain.
Arthur rolled his eyes. “Honestly, Merlin. Born to two magical parents?”
“Kahlan and James turned out all right,” Merlin countered.
“They had you and Morgana to raise them. Do you think it was the best idea to give Cara to Gwen and Lancelot after all? I mean they’re good people, but Lancelot only vaguely remembers his original life…and I doubt the usual rules apply when you’re taking care of a child who could do magic. It definitely can’t be easy.”
“Back in Camelot, my mother had no magic in her and she raised me just fine,” Merlin reminded Arthur. “Gwen told me her concerns about raising Cara, but I assured her that she would do all right. That she shouldn’t worry too much. And I’ll be there to help when they need me to.”
“It’s your decision in the end,” Arthur relented, not wanting to get into a row on Valentine’s Day. “I guess it’s lucky we didn’t make any Valentine’s Day plans.”
Merlin grinned at him. “There is always the day after. We can stretch the rules a bit.”
Arthur nodded. “Yes, we might as well. I do have something for you actually.”
“I’m a little worried now,” Merlin voiced, though he looked interested all the same.
“Shut up, Merlin,” Arthur said automatically over his shoulder as he left to collect the gift from his room.
He came back carrying a heart-shaped box and a small, stuffed toy sword.
Merlin eyed him curiously. “Do I really want to ask who the sword is for?”
“It’s for Cara. Something to sleep with when she’s a little older. Trust me, she’ll appreciate the gesture.”
“Well, at least it’s a stuffed sword,” Merlin said.
Arthur rolled his eyes. “Really, Merlin. I’m not an idiot. I have some sense.”
“Some…” Merlin repeated.
Arthur sat back down and he positioned the sword so that Cara’s arms were over it. She seemed to be quite content with her new toy. She didn’t fuss at all.
Arthur gave Merlin a self-satisfied look before opening the heart-shaped box and picking out a chocolate from the package.
“Be my valentine, idiot,” Arthur said, his mouth quirking into a smile. He offered the chocolate to Merlin who opened his mouth so that the blond could slip the candy past his lips.
“I love you too, prat,” Merlin replied after eating the chocolate. “I’ll give you your gift later.”
“And what is it?”
“It’s a surprise. You just have to be patient.”
Then Cara started to cry and Merlin announced that it was time to feed her.
When Cara was asleep later on in the day, somehow the two of them managed to create a huge mess in the kitchen that left them covered in melted chocolate.
Merlin’s eyes twinkled mischievously and all in all, they were very enthusiastic with cleaning up. Arthur could freely admit that Merlin had never tasted so good.
~ * ~
Six months later…
No matter how many lives Arthur had lived, he had never once traveled in time – either to the past or the future. So when Merlin asked if he wanted to come along with him to find their Morgana (who still hadn’t returned from her time travel trip), Arthur agreed to it. He didn’t want to miss an opportunity like this and he wondered why he hadn’t done this before with Merlin. Maybe it had just never come to mind.
“Do you know where she could be?”
“Not exactly. All I’m sure of is that she’s definitely not in Renaissance Italy. She’s in a different time period now, so we’ll have to do some investigating. Follow her tracks, so to speak. I don’t think she’s in trouble, but time travel is a tricky thing. And she has been gone longer than expected. Cara is six months old now, which makes it around a year since our Morgana left.”
“But what if she’s going to come back the moment she left? Like with the original Morgana who you sent back?”
“It doesn’t work like that in this case,” Merlin said. “In that situation, the event already happened – I remember what Gwen had told me about Morgana’s sudden reappearance. I had to make sure I sent Morgana back to the right time because I knew how it all played out. But with our Morgana, the rules are different. Time can’t be shifted around as easily. And it takes a lot of magical energy to attempt traveling back to the same moment you left. You saw how I was after sending Morgana back to Camelot.”
Arthur recalled how Merlin had suffered a short-term power outage – he was unable to use his magic – in addition to being on bed rest because he was simply too tired to even walk a short distance.
“So Morgana wouldn’t risk the danger of it. I think I understand now.”
And then Merlin procured a gold ring. “And this ring will protect you as we travel in time. Since you don’t have magic, time travel could most likely leave you knocked out for a few days at least. This ring should counter the unpleasant side effects.”
“Now I know why you never pressed me into traveling in time,” Arthur remarked, shaking his head. “That’s absolutely mad.”
Arthur held out his left hand and Merlin slipped the ring on to his ring finger. “With this ring I thee wed,” he said softly as he looked up at Arthur.
“Merlin, we don’t need rings. We’ve lived enough lives to be beyond jewelry.”
“I know. I just was in the moment,” Merlin smiled at him.
Arthur moved closer to Merlin, placing both hands on either side of his head, fingers brushing his dark locks, and he kissed him on the lips, slow and gentle at first, but it soon grew more passionate and heated.
Merlin returned the kiss just as earnestly.
“A king can’t be without his wizard,” Arthur said softly after they pulled away.
“And a wizard can’t be without his royal prat,” Merlin answered smartly.
“Never quite mastered addressing me properly, did you?” He shot back good-naturedly.
Arthur started kissing him again before he could reply. Merlin couldn’t complain.
No matter how strange their lives could get, they wouldn’t trade the chance to be with each other again and again through the years for the world…
Author: dk323
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Merlin/Arthur, Morgana, Gwen/Lancelot (mentioned)
Spoilers/Warnings: None; 2x12 did not happen for the sake of this story…
Disclaimer: The show Merlin is property of the BBC. No money is being made.
Summary: A pregnant Morgana ends up in the future. A reincarnated!Merlin and Arthur do what they can to help.
Author’s Notes: This is a Valentine’s Day fic (sort of, I tried! ;)). A reincarnated! Merlin and Arthur are together, but then an unexpected turn of events reminds them of how strange their lives truly are…
~ * ~
“What do we do, Merlin?” Arthur questioned.
He leaned against the kitchen counter while Merlin sat at the kitchen table, clearly agitated, as he stared ahead of him blankly, mind elsewhere.
Arthur shook his head at Merlin’s silence. He walked to him and placed a steady hand on his shoulder.
Merlin looked up at him then, and soon after, he turned away and covered his face with his hands in a sign of defeat. Honestly, Merlin thought, he didn’t know what to do and he didn’t want to lie to Arthur with false assurances. He knew that Arthur would see through that anyway.
Arthur sighed. He sat down across from him. “Morgana can’t leave,” He said firmly. “Not yet at least. You heard her -- it’s not safe back in Camelot for her. If what she says is true – she has to stay here until her baby is born.”
“And what then? I can’t believe Morgana did what she did. She knew that having a child out of wedlock in the days of Camelot, in medieval times no less – was something to be avoided at all costs. I don’t even understand how she traveled in time. That is powerful magic, Arthur. I don’t know how she managed it.”
“She said she had help. Maybe it was you? Certainly you could--”
Merlin only shook his head. “Remember she said that you were not yet king in her time? That I was still your manservant. I didn’t have the power or knowledge yet at that time to achieve such a feat,” he informed him. “No, she must have had help from someone who was well-versed to send her forward in time.”
“There can’t have been many back then,” Arthur said. “After what my father did.”
Merlin nodded. He stood up and went to make some tea that would hopefully help to ease his nerves.
“Funny thing is that she didn’t say who the father was,” Arthur mused. “Do you remember Morgana having a child in the old days? Before I was king?”
Once he put the kettle on the stove, Merlin turned around to face Arthur. “No, but I do recall Gwen telling me one afternoon how she came to Morgana’s chambers that morning to find an empty bed. But then, suddenly, Morgana appeared right in front of Gwen… and she had told her, ‘I’m back, Gwen. Oh, I hope you weren’t worried.’ So maybe this was always meant to happen. That Morgana had been here – and when she returned to her time, little to no time had passed there. No one had the chance to miss her and everything went on as usual…”
“But she came back alone. She didn’t have the baby with her,” Arthur pointed out, reminding him.
He nodded. “Yes, she didn’t. I don’t think Morgana only came here to have the child in peace. I think she came here to give the baby up.”
Arthur stared at him. “You’re serious?”
Merlin shrugged. “It’s her choice in the end. I could send her back in time to where she belongs, but that is all I can do.”
Arthur appeared thoughtful for a long moment before he suggested, “Gwen and Lancelot are engaged and she can’t – you know. That could be an option.”
“Yes,” Merlin murmured. “Gwen remembers her true identity. She’ll understand.”
“I called her actually,” Arthur remarked. “I thought Morgana would appreciate talking to an old friend.”
“I’ve never known you could be so thoughtful, Arthur,” Merlin remarked, sounding honestly surprised.
Arthur wasn’t fooled by his astonishment. “I can be many things. Some of which you should be well-acquainted with,” He finished with a mischievous look in his eyes.
He left his seat and moved toward Merlin who halted him with his hand. “Arthur, the last time we did this, your hair was set on fire!”
The blond was undeterred. He locked Merlin in between him and the counter. “You did that on purpose. I know you did. After all our lifetimes, if you haven’t managed to control your magic by now--”
“It’s not that…it’s just – I can’t control myself around you!” Merlin exclaimed fruitlessly since Arthur’s blue eyes were dark with want.
“I can help you with that,” Arthur said, his voice soft, but a near growl escaped him.
“But--!” Merlin uttered fruitlessly as the blond did not heed him. Instead, Arthur went for his neck, leaving kisses down his pale, smooth neck, sometimes nipping at the skin, which left marks behind.
“Arthur…” Merlin let out, trying to get him to stop. He could feel his magic rising up within him, eager to be released due to the excitement of what they were doing.
“Shut up, Merlin,” Arthur only said and he proceeded to do so himself by kissing Merlin on the lips. Seeing no use in resisting, Merlin parted his lips so that Arthur’s tongue could slip through.
But before things got any further (and thankfully, Merlin hadn’t set Arthur’s hair or any other part of his body on fire), the kettle whistled.
Merlin gave him a cheeky grin as he shifted away from Arthur who rolled his eyes at the rude interruption. He turned off the kettle as Arthur watched him, his gaze piercing and Merlin was certain that if Arthur possessed magic, he’d probably have melted already under the intense stare.
“I hope I’m not interrupting.”
Merlin and Arthur whipped around to find Morgana in the doorway to the kitchen. She had changed into the more modern clothing that their Morgana had left behind. She was wearing loose-fitting trousers and a long purple blouse that was quite fashionable according to their Morgana.
Every reincarnation of Morgana had a love of traveling the world or, more like, traveling in time thanks to her magic. Sometimes, she was gone for a few months at a time and now was one of those instances. Merlin was beginning to feel a sense of loss as the house that he, Arthur, Gwen and Morgana had lived in after they finished university was getting bigger with less people inside of it. With Gwen engaged, she had moved in with Lancelot a few months ago and Morgana had left just a week ago – only mentioning that she would spend some time in Renaissance Italy “for the culture” she had informed them.
And then she had sniffed at Merlin and Arthur as if they were the antithesis of culture.
So Arthur waved an empty glass at her and grunted, “More drink, wench!”
Merlin had laughed so hard that he almost choked on the chips he had been eating. Leave it to say, Arthur had blue hair for two days before Merlin decided to be merciful and say the counterspell to Morgana’s enchantment.
“Oh no, you’re not interrupting,” Merlin reassured the past!Morgana. “I’m sure you’re hungry. Did you find everything okay?”
Morgana nodded. “The room I’m staying in – it’s the room that my future self occupies?”
“Reincarnation is the correct way to put it, but yes. She’ll be away for some time and I’m sure she’ll be fine with you using it,” Merlin explained to her.
At which, Arthur contributed matter-of-factly, “It would be rather stupid of her not to. It would be like Morgana not letting Morgana share. In fact, it is exactly like that,” he smirked, looking quite pleased with himself.
“Thank you, Arthur,” Merlin said as politely as he could – he was nearly compelled to magic a bucket of water to fall over the blonde’s head. He turned back to Morgana. “Anyway, we have other rooms if she does come back before you leave. It’s lucky that she has clothes to spare.”
“Can’t exactly wear miniskirts in Renaissance Italy, Merlin. Although knowing Morgana, she might just be able to pull it off,” Arthur said casually.
“Don’t mind him,” Merlin said, momentarily glaring at Arthur before he turned back to Morgana. “I’m not sure what you would like to eat, though the food’s not that different. There are more options though.”
“You could have as much salt as you want,” Arthur commented idly. He grabbed a red apple from the fruit bowl and bit into it.
“Yes, that’s true,” Merlin confirmed slowly, giving a pointed look at Arthur who paid him little mind.
Morgana smiled pleasantly at them, but Merlin was sure she was only trying to be polite.
She sat down at the kitchen table and she noted, not without a tinge of sarcasm. “I see that you two have not changed. Just as close as always,” Though the last bit sounded more like, “Just as ridiculous as always.”
“I can make you some scrambled eggs, bacon, and toast.”
“Thank you, Merlin. I’d like that,” she said politely, smiling at him.
Then she gave him a searching look, and Merlin was puzzled as to why she was doing so. Morgana seemed to want to tell him something, but she kept silent.
“Morgana, is something the matter?”
She shook her head, touching her forehead then. “No, not at all. I have a bit of a headache. I’m feeling a little under the weather, that’s all.”
“Morning sickness?” Arthur asked her. Morgana nodded, though she had questioning look in her eyes as if wondering how he knew that. Arthur explained, “I’ve been married enough times to know how pregnancy goes. Merlin, here,” He nodded at the other man who was frying eggs in a pan. “was a doctor once in a previous life.”
“Reincarnation is rather strange. I don’t know if I quite grasp the concept. Do you remember all your previous lives?” She wondered.
They nodded. “It’s something you get used to,” Merlin reassured her. “And now, maybe I should just make you toast. Eggs and bacon might not be good on the stomach especially in your condition.”
“Oh no, I’ll be all right. I don’t feel sick anymore. I’m sure I can eat whatever you offer me. I’d like to experience as much as I can here.”
Merlin questioned, wanting to know. “Why’d you come here, Morgana? Why was it so important that you went through the effort of finding a way to go to the future?”
“I wanted to give birth to my child in peace, I told you. I wasn’t sure what Uther would have done if he discovered I was pregnant when I was unmarried. And I just couldn’t tell him who the father was. There was no telling what he would do. I was scared.”
Arthur went to sit next to her and he reached his hand out to place it on top of hers. “Morgana, we understand your fear and we’ll do the best we can to help you, but we need to know everything.”
“No,” she shook her head quickly. “That’s all I can tell you.”
“Who were you with, Morgana? Why did you risk being intimate when you weren’t married yet? And why couldn’t you marry the man? I’m sure our father would have accepted the arrangement,” Arthur said softly.
She slipped her hand out from under his. “Just please give me this one mercy. I don’t wish to talk about it. I just don’t.”
Arthur and Merlin shared a look, a silent exchange occurring between the two.
At last, Merlin let out a resigned sigh and said to her, “Gwen will be coming by. You could talk to her. And if you’re planning to leave the baby with us--”
Morgana looked up sharply at his words. Then she shook her head. “I’m not sure what I plan to do.”
Merlin nodded and he informed her, “All the same, Gwen is going to marry Lancelot in about a year. We have yet to talk to her about it, of course, since you just came here; but I think she would be more than happy to care for the child. She can’t bear children, you understand.”
Morgana looked saddened at the news. “Oh, poor Gwen,” she murmured.
“Gwen and Lancelot are good people. But you already know that since you know them well in your time. No matter how many reincarnations we go through, the core of ourselves – what sort of people we are – will always stay true and constant. You don’t have to worry about your child – with them, the baby will be loved and happy,” Merlin said, smiling in reassurance at her.
She returned the smile. “I can’t think of two better people. I have a few months to think about it, but I appreciate the kind offer.”
“When Gwen comes to visit, you can discuss it with her.”
Morgana nodded, agreeing with the idea.
Then Merlin placed her plate and a cup of hot tea before her on the table and she began to eat.
The two of them left the room to talk privately. Morgana seemed too focused on eating to notice. She must have been hungry.
Once they were well outside of the kitchen, Arthur spoke urgently to him. “Merlin, I know Morgana. She wouldn’t have done it with a random bloke. And if the father were a nobleman, a lord then she wouldn’t be worried about Uther’s disapproval.”
“I think you’re right, but we can’t force her to tell us when she doesn’t want to. Morgana’s already vulnerable enough as it is. She’s not just pregnant, but she’s out of her time, out of her element. I can just imagine how frightened she is right now. We have to ease her mind. She’s going to stay here for at least half a year. The best we can do is help her adjust somehow for the last six months of her pregnancy.”
“Well, at least we have Gwen to help us with that. A female presence is always welcome in this kind of matter.”
“Ha! I remember how you fainted in your last life when Andrea was giving birth to your first child.”
“I have no idea what you’re on about, Merlin,” Arthur said, trying to sound nonchalant.
Merlin shook his head in mirth. “Whatever you say, Arthur.”
~ * ~
Six months later, Morgana gave birth to a healthy baby girl at the end of January. She had decided to let the baby be raised by Gwen and Lancelot. Morgana grew to be rather fascinated by the advancement of women during her time with Merlin and Arthur. If this future time would allow greater opportunities for her child, then Morgana could not think of a better gift that she could give to her daughter.
Morgana had named the child, Cara, after Gwen insisted that it was her right as the birth mother to do so. Morgana had given in to Gwen’s request. She had told her that she couldn’t be more grateful that Gwen would be taking care of her child – that she couldn’t have chosen a better mother for her. Gwen had been sincerely touched by Morgana’s blessing.
For his part, Merlin was glad to finally find out that his magical detector worked. He had made it as a security device in case any of their original selves (pre-reincarnation) would travel in time and would end up in any period of time where their reincarnations existed.
The detector would locate the person and send them to wherever Merlin was living at the time. This was to prevent unwanted and untimely death of their pre-reincarnated selves before they died rightfully in their time and could be reborn again. The ability to reincarnate would be in danger if the originals died out of their time, and not just that – before their time as well. He could only imagine the disaster it would cause if the original Arthur died out of his time, before his death in battle in the days of Camelot. They would have been denied the ability to be reborn after death because reincarnation only worked when certain factors were set into place.
So when Morgana had landed inside of the house, Merlin felt that the detector was finally showing it was good for something. Frankly, Merlin didn’t think he’d ever have to use it because what reason would their Camelot selves have to travel in time – to the future, no less?
Morgana had explained to them that she hadn’t planned on coming so far into the future. She had simply hoped to travel to her near future – when Arthur was King and she could have better chance there possibly when Uther was dead. And also, she believed that the baby’s father would be in a better position to help care for the child. Unexpectedly though, the sorcerer whose aid she had sought had struck a far too strong time travel spell…and it had resulted in Morgana traveling to a future she could scarcely imagine.
One week after her daughter was born, Morgana was ready to leave and return to her time. Once Merlin had sent her back, he had collapsed out of a terrible exhaustion. He had never performed such a powerful spell before. The intricacies of it – to insure that Morgana would return as close to the moment she left (give or take a few hours) as it was supposed to happen – took great concentration, effort and magic, so that everything would come together in just the right way. In the end, the casting of the time travel spell had left Merlin worn out and ill for at least a week.
~ * ~
Arthur came into Merlin’s room later that week not long after Gwen had left. All that Arthur knew was that Gwen had wished to tell something important to Merlin. Lancelot’s parents were taking care of Cara while she was there and Lancelot was at work.
He was feeling distinctly uneasy when he saw Gwen’s somber expression as she left Merlin’s room. After saying a brief goodbye, she left the house.
“Merlin?” Arthur ventured as he walked into the room, concern in his voice.
He was sitting up in bed and holding a piece of paper in his hands. He looked up when Arthur spoke.
“What did Gwen tell you?” He asked him.
Arthur sat down in the chair by his bedside and he leaned over to see the writing on the paper clutched in Merlin’s grasp.
“Would you burn this, Arthur? I want to get rid of it.”
Arthur looked at him oddly and took the paper from him. It looked like the wording to a spell, an incantation. Arthur had been with Merlin in enough lifetimes to recognize the particular wording of magical spells.
“What is this?”
“It’s a counterspell to a memory charm. Gwen gave it to me. Do you know what Morgana told her?”
“Merlin, I’m not blind. I had a feeling when I first held Cara in my arms, had a proper look at her…”
“She has my eyes,” Merlin said softly. “All this time, I’ve been reborn time and again, and I didn’t know…was denied knowing. I had twins with Morgana two lives ago, remember?”
Arthur nodded. “Kahlan and James.”
“And now I’m with you,” Merlin said, smiling at him.
Arthur took his hand in his own. “We always find our way back to each other. Though there’s nothing wrong with variety, so to speak.”
Merlin’s eyes twinkled, his mood lightening after the news he had been given.
“What is the story behind the memory charm? Why were you made to forget?” Arthur wondered. “That doesn’t sound fair.”
Merlin shrugged, just as puzzled as he was. “From what Gwen told me, Morgana wanted to protect me. Can you imagine that? She thought she could handle the situation on her own – that she worried what would happen to me since I was only a servant. So she traveled in time for the sake of her baby, and now we’re left with Cara…”
“So did you know at all back in the old days that Morgana was with child?”
“Arthur, I didn’t even remember the act of conception. She took that away from me too. I don’t even know how she managed to successfully place a memory spell on me. And I don’t want to remember. That’s why I want to get rid of this paper. Gwen only now told me because Morgana wished that I know after she returned to Camelot. I think Morgana feared what I would say to her.”
“Merlin, I’m sure by now you’d have memorized this spell perfectly. Throwing the paper away will not solve anything.”
“No, I suppose not, but it would make me feel better,” Merlin gave him a cheeky grin.
Arthur shook his head bemusedly and he crumpled up the paper in one hand.
“You know what, Merlin?”
“What?”
“Do you realize how strange our lives are? It’s mad.”
Merlin shrugged and then he remarked, “What would complete the picture, I think, is if you had a child you didn’t know about.”
“Very funny. Let’s not talk about this again. We just might jinx it.”
Before Merlin could answer him, Arthur bent his head and he kissed him soundly on the lips.
~ * ~
“Happy Valentine’s Day, sweetheart,” Merlin said to his daughter who he had in his arms.
Arthur sat down beside them. He cooed at the baby in greeting before he turned his attention to Merlin. “So, if I’m correct, Gwen and Lancelot left us Cara to babysit on Valentine’s Day of all days.”
Merlin seemed unconcerned. “Well, they wanted some alone time together since it is Valentine’s Day. And Cara is my daughter… I should spend time with her.”
“Cara is going to think we’re mad when she grows up and starts asking about her birth parents. ‘Yes, Cara, Merlin is your father…no…not that one, the original one. Oh, and your mother was born 1500 years ago. Her name was Morgana and she was King Arthur’s sister.’ That will go over brilliantly, I’m sure.”
“We’ll figure something out when the time comes,” Merlin said reasonably.
“And if she has magic too?” Arthur asked.
“She probably won’t…” But Merlin sounded uncertain.
Arthur rolled his eyes. “Honestly, Merlin. Born to two magical parents?”
“Kahlan and James turned out all right,” Merlin countered.
“They had you and Morgana to raise them. Do you think it was the best idea to give Cara to Gwen and Lancelot after all? I mean they’re good people, but Lancelot only vaguely remembers his original life…and I doubt the usual rules apply when you’re taking care of a child who could do magic. It definitely can’t be easy.”
“Back in Camelot, my mother had no magic in her and she raised me just fine,” Merlin reminded Arthur. “Gwen told me her concerns about raising Cara, but I assured her that she would do all right. That she shouldn’t worry too much. And I’ll be there to help when they need me to.”
“It’s your decision in the end,” Arthur relented, not wanting to get into a row on Valentine’s Day. “I guess it’s lucky we didn’t make any Valentine’s Day plans.”
Merlin grinned at him. “There is always the day after. We can stretch the rules a bit.”
Arthur nodded. “Yes, we might as well. I do have something for you actually.”
“I’m a little worried now,” Merlin voiced, though he looked interested all the same.
“Shut up, Merlin,” Arthur said automatically over his shoulder as he left to collect the gift from his room.
He came back carrying a heart-shaped box and a small, stuffed toy sword.
Merlin eyed him curiously. “Do I really want to ask who the sword is for?”
“It’s for Cara. Something to sleep with when she’s a little older. Trust me, she’ll appreciate the gesture.”
“Well, at least it’s a stuffed sword,” Merlin said.
Arthur rolled his eyes. “Really, Merlin. I’m not an idiot. I have some sense.”
“Some…” Merlin repeated.
Arthur sat back down and he positioned the sword so that Cara’s arms were over it. She seemed to be quite content with her new toy. She didn’t fuss at all.
Arthur gave Merlin a self-satisfied look before opening the heart-shaped box and picking out a chocolate from the package.
“Be my valentine, idiot,” Arthur said, his mouth quirking into a smile. He offered the chocolate to Merlin who opened his mouth so that the blond could slip the candy past his lips.
“I love you too, prat,” Merlin replied after eating the chocolate. “I’ll give you your gift later.”
“And what is it?”
“It’s a surprise. You just have to be patient.”
Then Cara started to cry and Merlin announced that it was time to feed her.
When Cara was asleep later on in the day, somehow the two of them managed to create a huge mess in the kitchen that left them covered in melted chocolate.
Merlin’s eyes twinkled mischievously and all in all, they were very enthusiastic with cleaning up. Arthur could freely admit that Merlin had never tasted so good.
~ * ~
Six months later…
No matter how many lives Arthur had lived, he had never once traveled in time – either to the past or the future. So when Merlin asked if he wanted to come along with him to find their Morgana (who still hadn’t returned from her time travel trip), Arthur agreed to it. He didn’t want to miss an opportunity like this and he wondered why he hadn’t done this before with Merlin. Maybe it had just never come to mind.
“Do you know where she could be?”
“Not exactly. All I’m sure of is that she’s definitely not in Renaissance Italy. She’s in a different time period now, so we’ll have to do some investigating. Follow her tracks, so to speak. I don’t think she’s in trouble, but time travel is a tricky thing. And she has been gone longer than expected. Cara is six months old now, which makes it around a year since our Morgana left.”
“But what if she’s going to come back the moment she left? Like with the original Morgana who you sent back?”
“It doesn’t work like that in this case,” Merlin said. “In that situation, the event already happened – I remember what Gwen had told me about Morgana’s sudden reappearance. I had to make sure I sent Morgana back to the right time because I knew how it all played out. But with our Morgana, the rules are different. Time can’t be shifted around as easily. And it takes a lot of magical energy to attempt traveling back to the same moment you left. You saw how I was after sending Morgana back to Camelot.”
Arthur recalled how Merlin had suffered a short-term power outage – he was unable to use his magic – in addition to being on bed rest because he was simply too tired to even walk a short distance.
“So Morgana wouldn’t risk the danger of it. I think I understand now.”
And then Merlin procured a gold ring. “And this ring will protect you as we travel in time. Since you don’t have magic, time travel could most likely leave you knocked out for a few days at least. This ring should counter the unpleasant side effects.”
“Now I know why you never pressed me into traveling in time,” Arthur remarked, shaking his head. “That’s absolutely mad.”
Arthur held out his left hand and Merlin slipped the ring on to his ring finger. “With this ring I thee wed,” he said softly as he looked up at Arthur.
“Merlin, we don’t need rings. We’ve lived enough lives to be beyond jewelry.”
“I know. I just was in the moment,” Merlin smiled at him.
Arthur moved closer to Merlin, placing both hands on either side of his head, fingers brushing his dark locks, and he kissed him on the lips, slow and gentle at first, but it soon grew more passionate and heated.
Merlin returned the kiss just as earnestly.
“A king can’t be without his wizard,” Arthur said softly after they pulled away.
“And a wizard can’t be without his royal prat,” Merlin answered smartly.
“Never quite mastered addressing me properly, did you?” He shot back good-naturedly.
Arthur started kissing him again before he could reply. Merlin couldn’t complain.
No matter how strange their lives could get, they wouldn’t trade the chance to be with each other again and again through the years for the world…
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